Remember Joy
by NotAWastedWord
Summary: On that night two years ago, she had lost everything she held dear. But it could still be in reach; all she has to do is prove she's not dangerous. And capture a serial killer, before everything is taken from her, for good. Rizzles.
1. Chapter 1

_**Reviews are always welcome. Please, enjoy.**_

xxx

The car, old and slightly battered as it was, made an impressive climb up the hill, as Detective Jane Rizzoli slammed her foot down on the gas pedal. Her phone was in one hand, the other gripping the steering wheel like a vice. She hadn't had time to put her mobile down after getting off the phone from Maura, the frantic panic in her voice almost freezing Jane to the spot. Thankfully, she'd managed to shake herself into gear, speeding out of the Boston Police Department car park as fast as she could. It was just another occasion in which her car, almost fifteen years old and on it's last legs, took the brunt of Jane's frustration.

"Come on, come _on_." She hissed through gritted teeth as she skidded to a halt at an intersection, the lights firmly red. As she glowered as fiercely as the scarlet of the lights, the phone call with Maura replayed in her mind.

" _Jane, it's me, something's happened…"_

" _Hey, Maura, look I'm totally swamped here, if it's about the meeting last night, I'm sorry I had to stay and question a suspect and I promise I'll make it up to her…"_

 _Sobbing crackled down the line, and Jane's stomach flipped._

" _Maura? What's happened?"_

" _Sara's had a seizure Jane, I'm in an ambulance with her now. She's barely conscious, I don't know what to do, one minute she was colouring and the next, oh God…"_

" _Which hospital?" Jane had already stood, flipping over the case file and grabbing her keys. She jogged to the lift and slammed the button over and over._

" _Mercy, we're minutes away."_

" _I'm on my way, Maur'. It's gonna be okay, she'll be okay."_

 _Jane wasn't sure if her words were comforting Maura, but she didn't know what else to say. The alternative was just too awful to comprehend._

She had snapped her phone into it's holster on her belt and raced to her car, shouting her apologies behind her to the beat cop she'd shoulder barged.

As she pulled into the hospital car park, she felt her breathing become shallower and her chest tighten. She had only gotten off the phone to Maura eight minutes ago, but she knew better than most what could happen in eight _seconds_. She hadn't seen her daughter last night because she'd been too busy working a case. She hadn't seen her the last few planned visits, and she struggled to think of the last time she had seen her smile, or held her in her arms.

She crashed through the double doors at the entrance of the Emergency Department, flashing her badge at the nearest member hospital personnel she could find and said, through strained breaths:

"I'm here for Sara Rizzoli-Isles."

"I'm sorry, officer, but only family's allowed in..." The nurse stuttered, visibly cowering when Jane growled,

"I'm her mother."

She whipped round, leaving the nurse to open and close her mouth like a goldfish.

"Maura?" Jane called out as she stalked down the corridor. She saw the fluttering of a curtain up ahead and breathed out a huff of anxiety when she saw Maura's face. Her cheeks were puffy from crying, her eyes almost closed. Her hair, usually so neatly coiffed, was scraped to the back of her head in a messy bun. She was visibly shaking.

Jane jogged the last few steps, wanting so much to pull Maura close to her and to repeat her words from earlier; everything will be okay, I'll make sure of it.

Though she knew she had no power over Sara's health, she felt even more hopeless not being able to comfort the woman who was, technically, still her wife.

Maura turned her head to look toward the bed, and Jane's gaze followed. Her knees nearly gave out on her as she took in tubes in her daughter's nose, the monitor wrapped round her thin arm, the nurse drawing blood. Sara's blonde hair was crusted with blood at the front of her scalp, and Jane had to fight not to be sick.

"She's bleeding," she muttered to no one in particular, her voice nearly drowned out by the beeping of Sara's heartrate.

She felt Maura stir next to her. Her voice was quivering.

"She hit her head on the table as she fell, Jane." The hint of kindness in her voice made tears prick Jane's eyes.

"There's so much blood…" Jane trailed off, fearing that her voice would betray her emotions if she continued.

"Head wounds always bleed the most, they often look a lot worse than they actually are."

Jane nodded, still unable to speak. Maura seemed to have calmed since her frantic phone call, which helped to quell Jane's fears somewhat. She wanted so much to feel the touch of Maura's hand on her arm, to feel her breath on the back of her neck as she held her close. She swallowed.

"Can I go closer?"

The nurse who had been taking blood turned and smiled at Jane.

"I've just finished up, we're just making sure she's comfortable here before we take her to have a scan."

"A scan? What for?"

"We take seizures very seriously, Ms…?"

"It's Detective, actually. Jane Rizzoli." Her words were not meant to be brash, or unkind, as they usually were when she corrected people rather, they were just informative. She reached out her hand.

"Angie," she smiled her smile again, slipping her glove off her hand before taking Jane's.

"My mother's name is Angela," Jane said, almost in a daze. She'd need to tell her family what had happened.

"There are lots of things that could cause a seizure Detective, that's why we need to take Sara to have a scan, to see what's going on inside her head. It'll be over fairly quickly, and she won't be in any sort of discomfort."

"Can I see her first?"

"Of course, she'll be a little bit groggy but she's woken up now."

Jane looked to Maura, who gestured that yes, it was fine, she could move towards the bed.

She shuffled to stand next to Sara, before kneeling on the floor. She kissed her daughter's cheek, gently brushing a few wayward strands of hair from her face, being careful not to touch the bandage now strapped across her forehead.

"Hey sweetie, it's mama, can you hear me?" Sara opened her eyes with a flutter, the shadow of a smile gracing her lips.

"Ma?" Her voice was croaky, and Jane's heart hurt at the sound.

"Hey baby girl, how are you feeling? You gave us a bit of a scare."

"Is mommy here?"

"She's right here," Jane turned to see Maura, who was standing stone faced in the corner. They locked eyes, and Maura looked towards the floor.

"I wanted to come and give you one of my special mama hugs, because I know that makes you feel better when you're sick."

"What's happening mama? I feel dizzy."

"I know sweetie, I know. But the doctors and nurses are taking such good care of you. And you know what this nurse's name is?"

Sara shook her head tentatively.

"It's Angie, like Nonna's. Isn't that crazy?" She kissed Sara's cheek.

"Detective, we need to take her up to the MRI now. You're welcome to take a seat and wait in the family room, it's private."

"Thanks Angie, thanks for taking care of our little girl." Jane stood and shook her hand once again before blowing a kiss to Sara.

"I'll be right out here, sweetie. You'll be just fine. Angie will stay with you."

She pushed the curtain back, before pausing.

"I'll get us a coffee." Maura nodded and moved to say goodbye to Sara, stroking her face and kissing her on the forehead.

Jane sat in the private waiting area for friends and family of patients in the Emergency Department alone, listening to the low buzz of the news on the television. She purposefully drowned it out; she didn't need to know how many murderers and rapists she hadn't caught. Two cardboard cups of coffee sat on the table in front of her, steam fluttering into the air as she sat with her head in her hands. It was something she often did when things became overwhelming.

She didn't notice the door opening, didn't see Maura standing there watching her, a sad look on her face. Maura fiddled with her fingers, not wanting to disturb Jane's rather crude version of meditation. She walked to sit down, the noise of her heels snapping Jane out of it.

"Sorry, Maur'. I was miles away. She go off okay?" She rubbed her eyes with her knuckles.

"Rubbing your eyes excessively can lead to conjunctivitis, a scratched cornea, keratoconus…"

"Thank you Doctor Wikipedia, but I think I'll be okay. Just tired."

As if to prove her point, she grabbed her coffee and took a long gulp. She passed Maura's to her, shrugging her shoulders.

"They only had a good, old fashioned black Americano. It won't be as nice as the stuff that comes out of your coffee machine." She chuckled, noticing that Maura kept her mouth firmly in a straight line.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"Well it's hardly your fault, is it Jane?"

Jane faltered.

"The way you said that makes it seem like it's entirely my fault."

Maura pinched the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes and breathing deeply.

"I'm sorry. I think, perhaps, I'm a little run down too."

Jane nodded, sympathetic. They sat in awkward silence, and Maura's cheeks flushed when she realised this was the first time they'd been alone together for almost two years.

Jane sipped her coffee.

"Do you have any idea what could be wrong with her?" Jane's voice was soft, as it often was when she spoke about their daughter.

"If I had to hypothesise?" Jane nodded.

"It could very well be epilepsy. I highly doubt the seizure was caused by a head injury, because you know how careful I am with her, I didn't let her out of my sight the entire day, and as far as I'm aware she doesn't have Meningitis, I like to think I would have noticed that..."

"You're a good mother, Maura. It wasn't your fault."

Maura hadn't even realised that she'd assumed it _was_ her fault, though she now realised that that is exactly what she had been thinking. She bent her head forward, masking the tears in her eyes.

"If you need to sleep, I could stay here, in case Sara needs anything. You're only ten minutes from the hospital so it's not like you'd be miles away if something happened… I mean, if you needed to get back here." She was rambling and she knew it.

Maura seemed to contemplate for a moment before she spoke.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea, Jane."

She wasn't sure whether it was the stress of what was happening to Sara, or her anguish at not having solved a murder case in almost five weeks, or whether she had just reached a level of pissed off that was impossible to control anymore, but something inside Jane snapped.

"When are you going to trust that I'm not a danger to our daughter, Maura? She is _our_ daughter, you remember? I see her when I can, I know I missed last night but you know better than most people what my job is like. I have to see her with a fucking chaperone. Do you know what that's like? To feel like you're being watched at every moment? I feel like the perps we bring in, Maura. I feel like a criminal." She punctuated her final word with the jab of a finger towards Maura who, in her defence, sat there and took every word.

She sat with her legs crossed, the only visible sign of discomfort the slight flaring of her nostrils. Jane turned round and paced across the room, struggling to control her temper. Getting angry would only add weight to what she knew Maura already believed; that Jane was dangerous.

"Can you blame me?" Maura's voice was small, but it was there. Jane's heart sunk. She dragged her feet to a chair and slumped straight into it, head in hands once again. Her voice was muffled.

"I don't know what I can do to make this better, Maura. I've tried, you know I have."

"I just don't know if I'm ready to…"

"To what? To let our daughter spend time with her mother? And you know, it's not like we're going to a baseball game, or something that would constitute a normal mother-daughter activity. I just want to be there when she goes to sleep, and when she wakes up. Like I used to. Please tell me you haven't forgotten what that was like."

Maura hadn't forgotten. She remembered in perfect clarity the gloriousness of waking up with Jane's nose pressed against hers, the tender morning kisses that often turned into passionate love making. She hadn't forgotten either what it was like to see Jane read bedtime stories to Sara, sitting cross legged by the side of her bed and using a different voice for each character. There was no one on this earth who could make Sara laugh like Jane could, and Maura had always loved that about their relationship.

Maura hadn't forgotten. It was just that, somewhere along the way, it had gotten lost.

"I'll be back at 7am. I'll wait with you until she comes back down from the MRI before I go. Will that be alright?"

"Yeah, I can work with that."

Maura gave a curt nod of her head, picking up her bag and the coffee cup to put in the recycling bin.

"Maura?"

"Yes Jane?" Maura's voice was tired, but Jane didn't miss the hopefulness of her tone.

"Thank you."

xxx

 **I would appreciate it ever so much if you could leave your reviews. It would mean a lot to me. Thank you for reading, and I'll see you in chapter two!**


	2. Chapter 2

Wow! Thank you so much for the positive response to the first chapter. I understand that you have questions, but I promise I will answer them at some point during the story. Now, onto Chapter Two...

xxx

Maura yawned and slammed her hand down hard on her alarm clock, immediately irritated. She had been having a rather pleasant dream, in which an unknown figure had stood behind her and massaged her shoulders and started kissing her neck. She knew in her heart who she wanted to be touching her, but she forced _those_ thoughts from her mind as her eyes adjusted to the cool light of early morning. And it was _very_ early. She sighed, craving the taste of coffee on her tongue. Once she had managed to get to sleep at around one in the morning, she had been woken several times by the fluttering of anxiety in her chest.

She knew that Sara was in excellent hands – she had done a rotation at Mercy Hospital during her residency, and remained in touch with a few of her colleagues there. Yet, the niggling feeling that she shouldn't have left her there wouldn't subside, her stomach in knots for most of the night.

Jane was there, of course. Yes, Jane, who would take a bullet for Sara and, she hoped, for Maura too. Jane, who had risked her life for Maura before. Jane, who had shot herself to stop anyone else getting hurt. But that was a long time ago, and Maura didn't know if that Jane was the Jane she had seen the night before.

Still, it would be good for Sara to have her there when she woke up. Jane had a point, and Maura could see that not having her there was having a detrimental effect on Sara. She was forlorn at times, and only seemed to perk up when she knew Jane was on her way over for a visit. When Jane had had to cancel because of work, the look on Sara's face could've broken Maura's heart, even though she knew that it was unlikely that a facial expression could have a physiological effect on her organs.

She pulled herself up so she was sitting with her back against the headboard. She'd not been able to get rid of her bed when Jane left. Too many memories. Maura wasn't usually the sentimental type, but this was the bed in which her and Jane had made love for the first time. It was the bed that they'd slept in the first night they brought Sara home, their little girl tiny, helpless, and so, so loved. Neither of them had slept that night, instead taking it in turns to watch their baby in a silent agreement that they'd always be there to protect her, to protect each other.

Perhaps, Maura thought, she just wasn't ready to let go yet.

She dressed modestly in jeans and a jumper, foregoing her usual high heels for running shoes. She checked her watch as she brushed her teeth; 6:30am. She'd be early, but she was sure that Jane hadn't slept last night, and would be glad to be relieved. Even if she wouldn't admit it.

Filling her flask with fresh coffee, and grabbing her bag, she turned out the lights and headed to her car. It took her seven minutes to get to the hospital, as there was a significantly reduced amount of traffic on the road, given the hour. She parked up easily, at 6:54 exactly. She recognised Jane's shock of black hair blowing in the gentle breeze of the fall morning, and noticed the hunch in the Detective's shoulders. Perhaps it was _her_ who needed a massage... Again, Maura had to push those thoughts from her mind. She prepared herself mentally, brushed non-existent wrinkles from her jumper and checked her hair in the rear-view mirror before getting out of the car as gracefully as she could manage with her coffee in her hand.

Jane saw her crossing the parking lot and smiled, her hand raised in a meagre wave. Her eyes were rimmed with the darkness of sleep deprivation, and her skin looked unhealthily pale. Maura wondered when she had last eaten.

"Good morning, Jane. How is she?" She tried to keep her voice calm, but being in Jane's presence made her throat dry.

"They just took her for another scan, I'd tell you the name but it has a few too many syllables for my liking," she chuckled, her voice rough and hoarse.

"Was it an Electroencephalogram? Once they've ruled out anything more sinister, that's likely the diagnostic tool they'd use to test for epilepsy."

"Yeah, electrocapoopogram, that's the one."

Maura couldn't help herself. A shrill laugh exploded from her lips and her cheeks widened.

"Did you manage to sleep at all?"

"Yes, it was nice to be back in my own bed actually. Thank you for staying."

"You don't have to thank me, she's my daughter."

Jane shrugged, her shoulders aching from being slumped in the hospital chair all night. She had insisted, with the help of her police badge, that she would not leave her daughter's side. She hadn't moved until the nurses had come to collect Sara for her scan at twenty to seven. She guessed she'd had no more than half an hour of fretful sleep, preferring instead to watch over Sara like a lioness watching over her cub.

"I've got it from here, if you wanted to go and get some sleep?"

"I've gotta go into work now anyway, but it's nice to dream." There was that husky laugh again.

"How is work?"

"Well, we haven't solved a case in almost six weeks. I think it's our new Medical Examiner. He can't be that smart, or he wouldn't keep asking me what _I_ think about things."

"He does have all the required qualifications, but not everyone can be as efficient as I am," she said with a wink. Jane's stomach flipped.

"Was that snark I just heard, Doctor Isles?"

"Yes, yes I think it was." She smiled her brilliant smile, and Jane thought she could feel her heart physically swelling in her chest.

"I miss this," she said, almost in a whisper. She moved her hand as if to reach it towards Maura, whose own hands clutched her purse, then brought her hand back, thinking better of it.

"Jane, please don't make this harder than it already is."

"But why does it have to be this hard? You know there's an easy way we can get passed this," she was one step away from getting on her knees and begging – dignity was not something that was particularly important to her in that moment.

"You can't really think that after everything that's happened I can just let you walk through the door and act like everything's the same as before? It's not, Jane. Nothing is the same. I'm sorry, but I can't do this right now. I have to go and see Sara." She went to move passed Jane, but found her wrist held in a firm, yet gentle grip.

"Please don't walk away from this, from us. I thought I could live without you, but I can't. I can't have Sara growing up thinking her mama and her mommy hate each other. Please, Maura, I don't want to sleep another night without you by my side."

Maura said nothing, but her eyes grew blurry and her chest grew tight with the threat of tears. She couldn't cry in front of Jane; that would only spur her on with protestations of their current living arrangements, and Maura was already torn between what she wanted and what she knew was right.

"Please let me come home, Maura."

Jane's eyes were filled with tears, and her bottom lip trembled.

"I think you lost the right to come home when you took another woman to your apartment, Jane." Maura's voice had turned to ice, her eyes raging with fire.

Jane could say nothing; she could barely stay standing. Maura's movement away from her snapped her out of the trance.

"Maura, how many times do I have to say, it wasn't like that," she growled, anger tinging her words.

"I think it's pretty clear what it was like, Jane. She had her arms round your neck, her lips on yours..." She stopped, forcing a cry back down so it wouldn't escape from her mouth. She walked closer to Jane, stopping a couple of feet away.

"I can't do this again, so please stop asking."

Jane started to reply but was interrupted by the shrill sound of her phone ringing. She sighed, closing her eyes momentarily before answering. She watched Maura walk into the hospital and took in a deep breath.

"Rizzoli."

A body's been found. A child. A girl. Prepare yourself, Janie, it's a bad one.

"I'll be right there." She husked, swallowing back tears. On top of everything, she had to go and look at the corpse of a child. She wasn't sure how much more she could take.

She started walking towards her car, but thoughts of Sara lying in the hospital bed made her turn back. She made her way to her room and knocked on the door softly. Angie came to the door and smiled.

"Is it okay if I say goodbye? I have to go to work, they've found a... there's a new case that's just come in."

"Of course, Detective. She's just having breakfast."

Jane walked in slowly, avoiding eye contact with Maura, who was sitting next to Sara's bed.

"Hey baby girl, how are you feeling?"

"I'm much better today, I think it's 'cause you stayed with me all night." She ended her sentence with a clap of her hands, which made everyone laugh.

"Well I'm glad you're feeling better sweetheart. Listen, Mama's got to go to work now, I have to go and catch some bad guys. But Mommy's here and Nonna will be here this afternoon once she's finished work, is that okay?"

"I don't want you to go." Sara's voice was small, her words barely distinguishable. Jane felt the threat of tears form a lump in her throat once again. Maura turned away to face the wall.

"I know, I really don't want to leave you either. But I tell you what, I'll come and see you as soon as I can. If Mommy lets me know when, I'll come and see you, and I'll give you a special Mama hug. How does that sound?"

Sara considered for a second.

"Will you bring me a present?"

Jane laughed heartily, her first genuine laugh in weeks.

"If you're good, baby girl."

She bent down to kiss Sara on her cheek and told her to be a good girl. She left quietly, without a goodbye to Maura.

Maura herself let out the breath she had been holding in, and moved closer to her daughter.

"I think the doctors will let you come home this afternoon, how great is that!"

"Can Ma come over later? Can we have dinner? She likes gnocchi like Nonna does it." The excitement in her voice was too much for Maura and she started to cry, silent tears spilling onto her cheekbones.

"Why are you crying, Mommy?"

"I'm sorry, darling, I'm so sorry." She sobbed as she buried her face into Sara's hair, holding her tight.

xxx

Please, let me know what you think. Your reviews mean everything to me. I'm going to be on holiday for a week now, but I will get you all an update upon my return. Thank you all.


	3. Chapter 3

Hello everyone, I apologise for the lengthy wait for this update. I was on holiday, then I went to Glastonbury festival, and it took me a while to get back into the swing of things! But I'm back now, and I can't thank you all enough for your continued support. I hope you enjoy Chapter Three!

xxx

 _Jane knew she was in trouble when she woke up to a blistering pain in her head, and the roughness of cable ties chafing her wrists. Her eyes were blurry and she felt as though she might throw up the entire contents of her stomach. The repetitive motion of the vehicle she was in didn't help. Thankfully, mercifully, it was dark inside her temporary prison, though it took a few moments for her eyes to adjust. She could make out Officer Tim Miller slumped against the wall of what appeared to be a large van. Miller was a beat cop who'd joined the force just six months before. Why was he with her? What had they been_ doing _before she'd been knocked out?. Memories of Hoyt kidnapping her, explaining in great detail how he was going to make her suffer before he killed her, flooded Jane's mind._

 _She'd escaped that time. She would escape this time, or so she hoped to whichever god might be listening._

 _She surveyed her surroundings for anything that might help aid an escape or, at the very least, act as a weapon. She wasn't even sure who she would need to use a weapon against, but she knew she had to prepare herself. Miller wasn't awake yet. She wasn't even one hundred percent sure he was still alive. The thought of a dead cop made her chest constrict but she pushed the anxiety down, a dull, nervous feeling settling in her stomach._

 _She could feel, rather than hear, the van driving across gravel, before it came to an abrupt stop, almost toppling Jane over. She braced herself against the wall with her shoulder, breath quickening as she heard a door opening, then being slammed shut._

" _Miller?" She hissed into the darkness, desperate now for a companion, hating the feeling of being alone._

 _Miller seemed to stir slightly, and she could see a trickle of red marring his temple. She guessed she had a similar looking injury, judging by the throbbing in her forehead. The nausea was back, and she struggled to keep her eyes open._

 _Suddenly, the doors to the van opened, and Jane found herself staring down the barrel of a .40 caliber Jericho 941 semi-automatic pistol. She had seen first-hand more times than she could count the damage these guns could inflict, and she felt bile rise in her throat._

" _Detective Rizzoli, it's nice to finally put a face to a name."_

 _The voice belonged to a male. It was scratchy, like the guy needed to clear his throat._

" _I wish I could say the same for you." Her own voice was husky and thick with fear. She knew now why Miller was there, and the realisation brought the prickling of tears to her eyes._

" _Oh, but you know who I am, Detective. It's only fair I get to know you, too."_

 _A gloved hand shot into the darkness and grabbed Jane's arm, gripping it so tightly her hand went numb. The cable ties rubbed against her wrists, and she felt them draw blood. She winced as she was dragged out of the van, stumbling as her feet touched the ground. Her knees were weak, her stomach in knots._

 _She was led into a warehouse, intimidating in its vastness. As they moved further in, Jane noticed two chairs with matching contraptions, and she began to struggle against her captor._

" _Uh uh, Detective, please don't make this difficult. There's really nowhere you can go. I promise you, we're absolutely in the middle of nowhere. I doubt if anyone knows we're here." He smiled, and shrugged his shoulders, and Jane fought the urge to vomit. She had seen the contraptions before._

 _They were nailed with a hinge to the back of the chairs, and consisted of a long, thin strip of metal, with leather straps to hold the arm of a chosen victim in place. They locked in place, holding the arm out straight, the victim unable to move it._

 _A smaller piece of metal, with a pulley attached to it, could pull the trigger of a gun as it was held in the hand of the victim._

 _Jane had been working on the case for just over under a month. Two people had been shot in the face by complete strangers, who had been found strapped into the chairs, hysterical, while the corpse rotted in front of them. They'd had almost nothing to go on. Now, Jane thought almost hysterically, they had_ too much _to go on._

 _Her lip quivered as she was led to the chair on the right, and a tear escaped down her face as she was strapped in. The cable tie was cut, her left arm placed in the contraption, and her right attached to her chair with handcuffs. She felt the cool metal stick in the open wound on her wrist, but she could no longer feel pain. Her head was fuzzy, and her ears felt blocked. Her pulse pounded in her head and she struggled to stay conscious._

" _Stay right there, Detective Rizzoli. I'll be back soon."_

 _He sauntered away with the confidence of a man in complete control, and as soon as he turned the corner outside the warehouse, Jane began to struggle against the contraption, flexing her arm muscles and straining her shoulders against the back of the chair. Her throat was tight with panic. She felt something give in the contraption next to her elbow, and a bubble of hope swelled in the pit of her stomach._

 _But suddenly there were noises at the entrance of the warehouse, and she knew all hope was lost. Miller was being shoved forward by the killer, a gun pressed violently into his back. He stumbled a couple of times, blood still pouring from the open wound on his head. He looked pale, and Jane could see a sheen of sweat covering his face. It looked as if he'd vomited down his shirt, and Jane knew the concussion could have devastating effects if he wasn't treated soon. She knew, in her heart, that Miller getting the treatment he needed was unlikely._

 _She thought of Sara, her daughter, who was more important to Jane and Maura than anything else in the world. Sara, who would climb into their bed on a Saturday morning, begging them to take her to the park to play baseball. Sara, who had cried when she watched the film Babe, and sworn never to eat meat again. Sara, who had lost her first tooth falling out of a tree, laughing as she tongued the new gap in her mouth._

 _Jane realised she would never again hold her after a bad dream, or towel dry her hair after a bath, or kiss her before she went to work in the morning. She would never have another child with Maura, something they'd been discussing only the other evening._

 _Lying in bed, with Jane tracing lazy circles on her flat stomach with long, dextrous fingers, Maura had expressed her wish to become pregnant again._

" _I loved the feeling of another human growing inside me. I loved it, Jane."_

" _And you looked gorgeous doing it," Jane smirked, kissing Maura firmly on the lips._

" _Don't you think Sara would love a brother or sister? She's almost seven now, I think that's a perfectly acceptable age gap. And has she mentioned to you that Kim in her class has a new baby brother? Because she's mentioned it to me about eight thousand times."_

" _Dr Isles, was that an exaggeration?"_

" _Yes, I believe it was."_

 _Jane sobbed in her chair as she recalled the feeling of brushing her wife's hair out of her eyes in the morning, of kissing her neck, of holding her close as they slept._

" _Please, don't do this. We can work out a deal." Jane swallowed and her head bowed._

" _Oh Detective, you can't think I'm that stupid. We're way passed the point of making deals."_

 _He smiled, wickedness glinting in his eyes, and strapped Miller into the contraption facing Jane. Miller's head slumped against his chest, and Jane thought for a second he might have passed out, until the killer smashed the gun into the side of his head. Miller cried out, a strangled scream caught in his throat._

" _Officer Miller decided he would try and make a run for it, so I've had to teach him a lesson. No one should die with bad manners." He giggled, and Jane felt bile in her throat._

 _The killer reached into the back of his trousers, and pulled out a gun identical to that in his hand. He brushed the muzzle against Jane's cheek, running it up to her temple and pressing slightly. She whimpered, tears flooding her face._

" _I think Officer Miller's indiscretion means you can go first, Detective." He paused for a second, then:_

" _Ladies first." He laughed again as he placed the gun in Jane's outstretched hand._

" _No, no, please no," she begged, as Miller's eyes widened._

" _I'm gonna get us out of this, Miller. Stay calm, we're gonna be okay," she hissed, though she knew it was futile._

" _It's too late for that, Detective. Once you shoot Officer Miller, I'm going to shoot you. And then I'm going to pay a visit to that sublime wife of yours. Doctor Isles, is it? I won't shoot her straight away. I think I'll have some fun with her first. And maybe your daughter can join in, too." He reached down to grab the bulge in his pants._

" _You sick fuck," Jane screamed, her entire body shaking with rage as she attempted to break free of the contraption. "Don't you fucking touch them."_

" _There's not an awful lot you'll be able to do about it, Detective." He smiled, and placed Jane's finger on the trigger._

" _You'll will shoot him, or I'll make sure your daughter grows up with no parents, and with her innocence lost. Do you understand me?" His voice was steady, his words calculated._

 _Jane was trembling, snot running from her nose into her mouth as she cried, struggling to take in gulps of air._

 _The killer raised the gun in his hand and pushed it against the side of Jane's forehead. Miller was visibly shaking, his hands quivering in their shackles. He shook his head from side to side, looking a little maniacal._

 _Jane looked into his eyes and, whilst she feared for her life, and the life of her wife and daughter, she knew she would never pull the trigger and kill a fellow police officer._

" _I'm waiting, Detective. I don't like to wait." His voice had taken on a sinister tone, and Jane struggled to look up at him._

" _Go to hell." She spat at him, just as the contraption slid into place and caused her finger to pull the trigger._

 _Bits of Miller's brain and scalp flew at Jane's face as his head whipped back, a hole where his forehead used to be. Jane gasped, unable to breathe. She could taste blood in her mouth, and she could feel the sharpness of bone shards sliding down her face in red rivers._

 _She cried openly now, hysterical._

" _Please don't kill me, please, I don't want to die." She could feel the strength leaving her body and her head throbbed as she howled._

" _We all have to die sometime, Detective. That's a fact." He cocked the gun, and Jane squeezed her eyes shut as shots rang out across the warehouse. She gasped, her head whipping round the see Korsak and Frankie with their guns raised. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. She saw the expression on Frankie's face, like he'd never be able to look at her the same way again. She saw the sadness in Korsak's eyes as he radioed for an EMT, shouting 'officer down'._

 _She saw Maura running around the corner, hair flowing wildly behind her, hands flying to her mouth as she took in the scene before her._

 _Jane continued to sob, unable to move her eyes from Miller's body, hoping that she'd see a flicker of life, knowing that he was gone._

" _Oh, Jane." Maura began to cry as she approached her wife, relieved they had found her in time, devastated they hadn't been just a little faster._

 _She had on a pair of surgical gloves, conscious that, whilst there was really no doubt who the culprit was, there may still be evidence on the contraption Jane was strapped into. She undid the straps on Jane's arm and clutched her hand to her chest, nuzzling her face into her palm._

" _He's dead, Maura. He's dead. I shot him. He's dead and I shot him." Jane's voice was quiet, almost indecipherable. She couldn't breathe. She wasn't trying. It was all too much to think about at once._

" _Shh, my love, it's all over now. We're going to get you out of here, and into the ambulance, and everything's going to be okay."_

 _But she didn't really believe the words she was saying. She knew that this was worse than anything Jane had ever been through before. Worse than Hoyt sticking scalpels through her hands, worse than when he had almost slit Maura's throat in front of her._

 _Maura knew that when, or if at all, Jane recovered from what she had seen, she would not be the same as she had been before._

 _As they loaded Jane into an ambulance, a thick blanket covering her trembling body, Maura cried for all that had been lost that night._

–

Jane thought back to the night she had lost everything as she sat in her car, unable to leave the hospital car park. She slammed her fists into the steering wheel and screamed until her throat was raw. She allowed her breathing to calm and wiped her nose with a tissue she'd found in the glove compartment before setting off to the crime scene.

She wished to God she didn't have to go and see the body of a child, and for the second time in her career, she wished she wasn't a Detective.

xxx

More answers are coming, I promise. Reviews give me life.


	4. Chapter 4

I'm sorry, again, for the wait! Life got in the way and motivation was lacking, but please accept this chapter as a token of my gratitude for your patience.

xxx

When Jane arrived at the crime scene in the harbour, she could feel a palpable tension in the air. She stopped the car, put it in park, and grabbed the keys from the ignition. She toyed with them for a moment, spinning the key ring Sara had given her for Mother's Day a few years ago between her fingers. She smiled at the memory of Maura holding Sara's hands as she walked, legs unsteady but so, so determined to get to her Mama. It was a simple little thing, 'I love you mama' written in silver plated letters, but she had cherished it ever since.

She opened her door, pushing it outwards with her foot, and stepped out into the drizzle. She'd forgotten her rain coat so instead she wrapped her arms around her body and quickened her pace.

"Hell of a day for it." Korsak said gruffly as Jane approached him. There were four police cars parked at varying angles, and a dozen uniformed officers paced around, searching the ground for any trace of evidence.

"Let's just get this over with, I'm freezing and I'm really not in the mood for dead children today."

"Well I am so sorry. I'll go and tell the little girl to come back and get dumped here tomorrow, or at another time more convenient to you." Korsak's raised voice made Jane roll her eyes, but she knew he had a point. She mumbled an apology, and followed Korsak to underneath the dock, being careful to duck her head under the tape.

She could already smell the stench of decay from fifty feet away, and her stomach clenched with the effort of not being sick. The uniforms all had matching expressions; like a little bit of joy and light had been sucked from their lives.

Buried under a layer of debris was the corpse of a girl no older than nine. Her hair was wet and covered in what looked like tar. She had dried blood caked on in rivulets down the side of her face from her temple. There was congealed blood seeping from her mouth too. Jane could see a ring of red at the crotch of her jeans and she brought her hand up to cover her mouth, as if it would force the bile back down. Her fingernails had been ripped out and her clothes were torn, baring her top half, but what shocked Jane the most was the huge gash in her throat.

She stood, wide eyed and mouth gaping, unable to move. Korsak's hand rested on her arm and she fought to keep her trembling body under control.

"I can take this, if you need to sit it out Janie."

"No, no way, I've gotta do this."

"We've got precisely zero leads, so let's get to it."

Korsak moved to direct the uniformed officers to preserve the crime scene. Jane continued surveying her surroundings but she wasn't taking anything in. The similarities between the little girl lying, rotting, half submerged in the water of the harbour and her own daughter were too much.

She grabbed her phone from her belt and dialled the number she still knew by heart.

"Hey, it's me."

"I know, Jane. I saw the caller ID."

"Okay smarty pants, enough with the sass." Jane chuckled, feeling her shoulders relax and her breath steady.

"What do you want, Jane?" Her tone was not unkind rather, it was curious.

"How's Sara?"

"She's sleeping at the moment. I think she's glad to be back in her own bed."

"Yeah, she must've been so scared in that hospital. They creep me out just thinking about them. Is her head okay?"

"She didn't require any stitches, just a small amount of glue to close the wound. She hasn't complained about anything, and you know how she is."

"Queen of attention seeking, our daughter." She laughed; Maura did not.

An awkward silence fell between them, and Jane paced back and forth.

"Look, Maura, I'm sorry for how I acted earlier. I'm not good with seeing people I love in pain, you know that. I was just so scared and, well, you know how I feel, but we don't have to go into that."

"Jane, it's fine. It was a stressful situation. Our Cortisol levels must have been very high, which would certainly explain why we both lost our tempers."

"Yeah, Cortisol. That old chestnut."

"How are your Cortisol levels now? Lower, I hope." Maura's voice had taken on the soothing tone Jane had missed so badly.

"Nah, afraid not. I'm on a case. It's one of the worst I've ever seen." She paused. "It's horrific, Maura." She struggled to swallow the lump in her throat and something within Maura made her want to go to Jane and hold her close. She knew better than most people what crime scenes were like, how they could bring down even the most upbeat person.

"I heard it on the news this morning. A little girl, isn't it? I'm sorry you have to go through that."

"Yeah well it's not just me, is it? I've never seen Korsak look so sick. I nearly threw up too, but I don't think it was 'cause of the smell. It's different, you know. It's _been_ different ever since we had Sara. It's harder."

"Do you have any leads yet?"

"Not a one, and Pike's out of town, so we've gotta wait for his replacement to come in and…" she stopped suddenly, an idea forming in her head. At first she was reluctant to mention it but, she thought, she had nothing to lose.

"Maura, I hate to ask, but do you think… do you think maybe you could come and do the autopsy? I know it might be weird and awkward but you're the best there is Maura, and we need the best. It's a kid, and we have a kid, and I don't know if that's morbid or whatever but I feel like I need you there whilst we do this."

A pause.

"Sorry, I'm rambling again aren't I." Jane huffed out a chuckle.

"I haven't practiced in almost two years, you know that. It would be irresponsible of me to carry out an autopsy when I'm not at the top of my game."

"Maura, you doing an autopsy two years without practice is way, way preferable to anyone else doing it at the top of their game. You and I both know you could still do an autopsy blindfolded."

"That would not be advisable, particularly when sharp objects such as scalpels are involved."

"Okay, I'll let ya do it without a blindfold, how does that sound?"

Maura couldn't help but smile at Jane's persuasiveness. She'd lost count of all the times she'd been talked into doing something crazy, like a bungee jump in Thailand on their honeymoon. It wasn't her usual idea of a good time, but she had admitted later, as Jane was running her tongue down the inside of her thigh, hands grasping her backside firmly, that she had, in fact, loved every second.

"I don't know, Jane, I'm not sure it would even be legal."

"Well it's a good thing you've got the entire Boston police force on your side."

Maura thought for a moment. She thought of all the autopsies she'd done in the past. She guessed there were thousands of them. She thought of all the cases she had helped Jane solve, of how when they started seeing each other, every solved case was more of a victory than before. She thought of sitting on their bed, holding each other and weeping at the horrors they had seen. And she thought of Jane, sitting in her apartment in the dark, weeping alone.

"If you can clear it with the Chief Medical Examiner's office, I'll do it. I'll be able to get cover at the clinic tomorrow, does that work for you?"

"Really? Wow, thank you Maura, thank you so much. I really appreciate it. It means a lot to me that you've said yes."

"I want the case solved, Jane. I didn't technically do it for you."

"Hey, don't ruin the moment." Jane joked, and Maura sighed.

"It'll be strange returning to work at BPD."

"Well it hasn't changed much, except Ma now does vegan food. Don't tell her I said anything, but it's actually really tasty."

Maura giggled, and Jane relished the sound.

"Your secret is safe with me."

xxx

Thank you again for all your lovely reviews. They mean everything.

If any of you have Twitter, I can be found at _notawastedword – though there's no pressure to follow!


	5. Chapter 5

Maura stood in the changing rooms of the Boston Police Department feeling very, very strange. Her hands trembled as she undid the buttons on her blouse, shrugging it from her shoulders and down her arms. She took a hanger from her locker and hung it neatly, brushing out the creases. She reached round behind her to unzip her pencil skirt, a skirt she had worn because it clung to her figure particularly well and, subconsciously perhaps, she wanted Jane to remember that she did, in fact, have a body underneath her clothes.

Not two years ago she would've changed in her office, with the blinds closed and the door locked, particularly if Jane was in there with her. She would often come and lounge on the sofa in Maura's office when she was in the middle of a particularly difficult case. She tried to explain that it made it easier for her to concentrate if she was comfortable, but secretly, and Maura knew it too, it was being close to the person she loved more than anything that helped get her brain in gear.

Maura sat on the bench as she pulled the bottoms of her scrubs on and recalled a time when Jane had come into her office complaining of a headache, brandishing a coffee and a donut. Maura had feigned shock and disdain at her dietary choices, before a devilish idea had occurred to her.

"I have something that will get rid of your headache," she had purred in Jane's ear. Jane remained oblivious and gulped down a mouthful of coffee. Taking it from her, Maura had placed it on the desk, along with the greasy donut, and sunk to her knees.

There was something about looking up into Jane's eyes, which had darkened with arousal, her fingers tangled in Maura's hair, pushing her tongue deeper inside her, that turned Maura on more than anything else. The moans and gasps escaping from her detective's mouth were sounds only she got to hear, and the thought of it caused a familiar wetness to pool between her legs.

After that first time, it had become an almost daily occurrence for three weeks, Jane slipping out from behind her desk to 'take a stroll', Korsak and Frankie exchanging knowing glances. Once in Maura's office, the door was locked, the blinds were closed, and they could begin to rip each other's clothes off. Jane had had to replace three shirts because Maura had ripped them from her body with such vigour. They had made love against the door, on the sofa, under Maura's desk, and they couldn't get enough of each other. That was, until a lab technician had opened the door, which they had neglected to lock in their haste to get each other undressed, and been met with the sight of the good doctor Maura Isles being bent over her desk, detective Rizzoli's hand buried deep between her thighs. Needless to say, it had killed the mood ever so slightly.

Maura's eyes grew hazy as she recalled the memory, not least because she hadn't been intimate with anyone for an achingly long time, but because she had never been with anyone who had made her feel as incredible as Jane had. There was something about being pressed against her, bare skin slick with perspiration as their bodies moved together, that made Maura want to shout from the rooftops.

She finished changing into autopsy appropriate attire before making her way to the elevator. She didn't even really need to look where she was going; it was a journey she had made hundreds, if not thousands, of times before. She brushed her fingers along the wall as she walked down the corridor and thought about how much had changed since the last time she was here in an official capacity. She hoped to God that she hadn't lost any of her skills, though deep down she remained confident in her abilities.

Her stomach felt tight as she thought about being in the autopsy room with Jane again, as they had been so many times. She willed herself to calm down, thinking instead of what she knew about the case so far. As it happened, she knew almost nothing about the case, but in some ways she preferred that. She could go into the autopsy with a clear, unbiased head, which would undoubtedly make it easier for her to report the facts, and the facts only.

Whenever a child was killed, a palpable sadness could be felt among the officers of the BPD. All death was tragic, but something about a person being ripped from life so early on was, sometimes, too much to think about. But it was their job to think about it, and Jane sought to remind herself of that when things became overwhelming. She still hadn't decided whether having Maura with her whilst she was working would be comforting or distracting. Probably both, she thought, and that was not necessarily a bad thing. When Maura had walked into the precinct earlier that morning, dressed in a skirt Jane had always loved on her because it showed off her magnificent behind, she had felt one hundred percent distracted. Korsak had pushed her chin up to close her mouth, something that Jane attributed to her stuffy nose, though of course Korsak knew better. He had managed to turn a chuckle into a cough, before hurrying away to hide his mirth.

As Jane made her way to the autopsy room holding two cups of coffee, she recounted the many years she had worked with Maura before they had professed their love for each other. It had all seemed like such a waste, when they finally realized they could have been spending all their free time kissing, making love, making each other feel good. One day not long after they'd developed their friendship into something so much more they had lay panting on Maura's bed, gasping for air after a shared orgasm, when Jane had announced that they would just have to make up for it in the time they had together going forward. Maura had replied not with words, but with actions to the effect of her lover's statement.

Now, as she prepared to enter a situation which was familiar and terrifying all at once, she shook her head to clear her mind of the memory. She buzzed herself in with her ID card and was surprised to see Maura had already arrived. She had her back toward the door, which allowed Jane to watch her for a few moments. Her gaze focused on the elegant curve of her neck as she entered initial details into the computer, on the deft fingers tapping on the keyboard. Everything Maura did, she did with Grace, and Jane missed it more than she could bear.

She cleared her throat and Maura's head shot up, a faint blush adorning her cheeks.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare ya. I brought you this, thought we could both use some caffeine courage." She smiled weakly and set Maura's coffee (a flat white with skimmed milk, no sugar) down next to the computer.

"Thank you, Jane. Is anyone else going to be here for the autopsy?"

"I thought it'd be best if it was just the two of us. I didn't want you to feel overwhelmed."

"That's very thoughtful of you, thank you."

"Yeah, well, I can be thoughtful when I want to be."

Maura smiled, a genuine smile, and took a sip of coffee.

"It's weird, isn't it? You being back here. I'm not sure it's a bad weird, but it's weird all the same."

"It certainly feels very strange, almost as if no time has passed. I'm glad to see they're still using my filing system." Jane chuckled.

"There's so much of you left behind here, Maura. Sometimes I'll be walking down the corridor and I'll look in and it's a shock when I see Pike and not you. Then I remember..." She trailed off, leaning back onto the counter, lost in thought.

"It doesn't do to dwell, Jane," Maura said softly, patting Jane's hand.

For a moment Jane did nothing, before gently taking Maura's hand in her own, stroking the soft skin with her thumb. Maura closed her eyes and felt her breathing speed up. When she opened her eyes again, Jane was gazing into them with her own dark brown orbs, and for the first time in two years, a sense of peace fell between them.

"Shall we get started?" Jane husked, smiling at the slightly dazed expression Maura now wore. She could only nod in response, running her palms across her front in a nervous attempt to focus.

"Have there been any developments over night?" She had managed to compose herself enough to ask a simple question, and she was thankful the conversation could be moved to more professional matters.

"Nothing's come through, I looked into similar crimes in the area but nothing jumped out really. I'm hoping all the answers will come from the autopsy."

"That's highly unlikely, Jane. But I'll do my best." She pushed open the door to the morgue and motioned that the porters could bring the body through.

The girl was encased in a standard black body bag, and it was as if only half of the bag was taken up by her body. Body bags came in one size, thought Maura sadly, though she had heard talk of bringing in larger variations due to the ever-expanding obesity epidemic.

Once the porters had laid the body down gently, Maura adorned a pair of surgical gloves and unzipped the bag. She felt Jane suck in a gasp of air as Maura and the porters removed the victim from the bag. Once their job was done, the porters left without a word, the solemnity apparent on their faces. Whilst sometimes jokes were made over a body to lighten the mood, to prevent them all from going insane with the sheer horror of it all, nobody made jokes over the body of a child.

Maura took out the old polaroid, the same one that had been used when she worked as medical examiner, and began taking snaps of the girl from as many angles as possible. Had this been two years previously, an assistant would have done this part of the job, but Jane had been right; it was far better it being just the two of them.

She undressed the little girl with the tenderness and care she used when she was undressing Sara. Jane, not usually squeamish, had to turn away when the wounds on the girl's body were fully revealed. Being a mother had changed her in ways she could not fully understand.

Maura moved around the body, looking for any features that could help identify her.

"Small birth mark on the left shoulder, no other distinguishing marks," Maura sighed as she entered the information into the computer.

"We should get an x-ray of her mouth, for dental reco…"

"Yes Jane, I do know what I'm doing." Maura's tone wasn't unkind; she knew Jane was stressed and hadn't meant to patronize the former Chief Medical Examiner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.

Jane apologized by way of a curt nod.

"Are you sure you want to stay for this?" Maura asked as she hovered the scalpel over the girl's collarbone.

"Of course I do. I have to."

Maura made the first incision, making a point not to look at Jane – she feared that, if she did, she may not have been able to hold back the tears that had been threatening since she stepped foot in the building.

xxx

Sorry to leave you all on a bit of a cliffhanger, I wanted to get something out before the weekend, especially since I've not updated this in a while.

Thank you again for your support, it is truly wonderful.


	6. Chapter 6

Hi everyone, so sorry it's been so long since I updated. Your continued support means the world to me.

Thanks again everyone, you're all fab.

 **Trigger warning: mention of sexual assault, but I don't go into any explicit detail.**

xxx

Jane stepped back into the morgue, the chilly air cooling her skin. It was an unusually high temperature outside for October, and she could feel perspiration trickling from underneath her ponytail.

"Sorry that took so long Maura, you know how potential witnesses can be. I really wish criminals would wait until we'd finished one case before giving us a new one." She smiled sadly, rubbing her hand against the back of her neck, inconspicuously wiping the sweat on her pants.

"That's okay, Jane, you know I understand. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"You could start by telling me what you found in the autopsy. Were you okay doing it by yourself? I know I said I'd be here with you…"

"It's fine, Jane. How many autopsies have I done on my own before?"

"Good point. So, what did you find?"

"There was so much damage to the body, I wasn't able to fully determine what the fatal blow was."

Maura looked into Jane's eyes, which were dark with rage. Their positions mirrored that which was so familiar to them; Jane leaning against the sink, Maura making the final additions to the autopsy report at her computer.

"That son of a bitch." She rubbed her eyes with the tips of her fingers.

Maura continued.

"She was raped, Jane. Probably multiple times."

Jane's mouth opened slightly as she let out a shaky breath, unable to speak.

"I found no traces of semen I'm afraid, so he must have used a condom. I also believe she was kept in a dark room for a time before she died."

"How long for?" Jane's tone was a hair away from being snappy, and she looked immediately apologetic.

"You know I don't like to guess." The corner of Jane's mouth lifted slightly.

"How about hypothesizing? Could ya deal with that?"

Maura shot daggers at Jane.

"Please, Maura. For me?"

"If I _had_ to hypothesize, based on the information presented to me by the body and other evidence at the crime scene, I'd say she was kept out of the sun for at least three weeks." She stood and moved to stand next to the body, picking up a hand delicately.

"Her nails had begun to peel and crack. She was developing a Vitamin D deficiency. She must have been terrified, in the dark." Maura looked down at the girl's face and her brow furrowed.

"So, this guy likes to be in control, he likes to know exactly where his victim is, and know that she's vulnerable, and scared." Her voice wavered slightly before she continued. "He's fucking evil."

"I have to agree with that statement."

"There's a sense of urgency to this one Maura. I feel like we've gotta get this bastard off the streets."

"I know you'll catch the killer. You always do." She reached out her hand and placed it on Jane's, whose eyes closed at the contact as she felt a lump form in her throat.

"Maura," she began in a husky voice, opening her eyes slowly and taking in the beautiful woman before her. Her gaze settled on pink lips, and she began to move forward, inching towards the prize she so greatly wanted to capture.

Her phone rang, the shrill tone snapping her out of her trance, and she whipped her hand from beneath Maura's to answer it, standing up and turning away.

"Rizzoli." Her voice came out as barely a whisper, and she brought her fingers up to pinch the bridge of her nose.

"Janie, I think we've got something. Where you at?"

"Great, Frankie, that's great. I'm in the morgue with Maura, but I'll be right up."

She slotted her phone back into her belt, and found herself suddenly unable to look at Maura.

"I'll be back soon to look at the rest of the results," she called out as she wrenched the door open, leaving Maura somewhat dumbfounded.

Once she was safely around the corner and out of sight, Jane let out a shaky breath and attempted to pull herself together. She had come dangerously close to kissing Maura who, while technically still her wife, she had sworn she'd never hurt again, and kissing her was surely the first step to causing trouble.

"I was running through all the missing children reports from the last few weeks, and I think we might've found her." Frankie had, on the big screen, the profile of a girl who had gone missing almost a month ago, whilst playing in the park with her brothers.

"April Pascoe, nine years old, last seen almost a month ago playing near the Boston Common Frog Pond. It looks just like her. Shit, we'll need to inform the parents."

"I can do it if you need me to Jane."

"It's okay Frankie, I should do it. It looks like their address is on the way to the Common anyway, so we can go on the way. Let's take the CSIs with us to see if anything's been left behind. It'll be a miracle, but it's all we've got."

"What about Maura?"

Jane frowned.

"What about Maura?"

"Should we ask her to come too? Is she, like, a part of the team again or…?" He trailed off at Jane's withering look.

"I guess not. I'll get the guys together."

In truth, Jane had considered asking Maura to go with them, and not just for her abilities to find evidence at a crime scene. The thought of her being there whilst they investigated the area where little April had last been scene brought great comfort to Jane.

As she drove to meet with April Pascoe's parents, alone, she missed the feeling of having Maura beside her more than ever. There had been a surprising number of people who had warned them about the perils of working with your significant other, but none of the usual risks really applied to them. They had worked together for so many years before professing their love for each other that any alternative seemed totally alien to them. Until that night, when Jane had lost everything she held dear.

She sighed as she fiddled with the dodgy AC in her car, knowing that if Maura was there, she would have told her to get it looked at. Or, perhaps she would have even taken a look at it herself. Jane smiled to herself at memories of Maura in overalls and a white tank top, grease smeared on her hands and arms. Her cheeks grew hot as she remembered ravishing her against the wall in their garage.

She parked up and, remembering where she was, grew somber. As she stepped out of her car, a chill cut through the warm air, and she wrapped her arms around herself.

xxx

Sorry it's a shorter chapter guys, but I wanted to get an update out! Longer updates coming, along with the answers I know you're all after…


	7. Chapter 7

I tried real hard to get this update out to you quickly, as you've all been so patient so far! Enjoy.

xxx

"I'm so very sorry, Mrs Pascoe, Mr Pascoe. Is there anything I can do for you? Do you need a drink?"

Mrs Pascoe, dabbing at her eyes with a sodden tissue and brushing her hair out of her eyes, swallowed and attempted to regain her resolve.

"Find the person that did this to our little Alice, detective. Please find them and bring them to justice."

"We knew, in the back of our minds, that she was gone, but my heart didn't want to believe it." Mr Pascoe bowed his head and his wife moved her hand to stroke the back of his neck tenderly.

The worst part of Jane's job was not watching autopsies, not being the first on the scene at a murder, not being shot at by criminals. The worst part of her job was destroying people's worlds by telling them their loved one was gone, that they had been brutally murdered. She stood, taking a card out of her pocket and placing it on the coffee table.

"Please call me if you need anything at all. I'll be in touch as soon as I can."

She left the grieving couple and slipped out into the fresh air. She paused to catch her breath, her chest tight and tears threatening to spill from her eyes. Her phone started buzzing and she picked it up.

"Hey Frankie, what is it?"

"Are you okay? Did you tell the parents yet?"

"Yeah, I just told them. God, Frankie, it doesn't get any easier does it?"

"I know. But we gotta do it, and we gotta find out who killed their little girl. We're at the park, will you meet us here?"

"I'm leaving now." She pressed her phone back into its holder and got into her car. She took one last look back at the house, thankful that she and Maura had never experienced what the Pascoes were going through.

The short drive to the park allowed her to regain some composure, which was good because she hated appearing weak in front of her colleagues, particularly the male ones. Whilst she knew that everyone at BPD respected her (and sometimes feared her), old habits did tend to die hard.

She met Frankie at the pond, where he had set up a perimeter, and was directing uniformed officers in a search for evidence in the surrounding area. Jane couldn't help but smile at the great detective her brother was becoming. She could still remember holding him when he was newly born, smelling his hair and proclaiming 'YUCK, he smells funny" to her mother and father. Now he was a man, and a damn good one at that.

"You okay Janie?"

"Yeah I'm fine, why does everyone keep asking me that?"

"Because we care," Frankie replied exasperated, shrugging his shoulders in frustration.

"I know you do, and I really appreciate it, but I'm not gonna fall apart. I promise, I'm not."

"Of course you're not, Janie. You're my big sister." He nudged her shoulder with his and she smirked at him, before her expression turned professional.

"Have we got anything yet?"

"Only been looking for about half an hour, but we got nothing." He looked down at the ground, disheartened.

"Hey Frankie, it's okay. Sometimes we just don't get lucky, you know that. We'll catch him." She placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. Behind him, she noticed a small refreshment hut. A small queue of children had formed, getting in line to grab the last ice creams of the summer. She moved passed Frankie and made her way over to the hut, going automatically for her notebook and pen she carried in the inside pocket of her jacket.

By the time she got to the hut, the young man inside had given the last little girl her change, and Jane smiled as she waltzed off back to her parents, ripping the wrapper from her popsicle with glee.

"Hey there, Detective Jane Rizzoli, and you are?" she flashed her badge at him, noting the nervous expression that flashed in his eyes.

"James Hardy," he stammered.

"No need to look so worried," she husked. "Do you work here full time?"

He was slim, with a greasy face that matched his hair. A smattering of acne ran across his cheeks and Jane guessed he was in his early twenties.

"Most days, yeah. Family friend owns the hut and it's not like there's anyone else who can be bothered to run it."

"Well, I'm sure you've heard about the girl whose body was found earlier this week."

"Uh uh, yeah, heard it was pretty brutal what happened to her."

"We're looking to catch the person that did it. Our investigation has led us to believe that she was taken from this park, right over there by the pond."

She pointed. He nodded.

"Do you remember if you were working on August 27th?"

"That was like a month ago." He snorted, and Jane frowned.

"I'd really appreciate it if you could think back to that date, and tell me if you were working or not. If you were, there's a chance you saw something that could prove crucial to our investigation."

"Now that you mention it, I don't think I was working."

"No?"

"No, my mom had surgery on the 25th, and I offered to go stay with her to help out. She couldn't get round so well after it."

"Where does your mother live?"

"In the North End. Baker Street, number 249."

"What surgery did she have?"

"Is that really any of your business?"

"I'm a detective, everything's my business."

"She had a hip replacement. Always had bad hips."

Jane observed him for a moment, examining his face for any telltale signs of deceit.

"If you can think of anything you may have seen before you went away to help your mother, please give me a call. It's very important." She took a card from her pocket and slid it over the counter. He picked it up slowly, turning it in his fingers, his eyes never leaving Jane's.

"I don't know how much help I'll be, but I'll let you know if I think of anything."

Jane nodded and left without a word. Something about the boy gave her the creeps but, as much as Maura might argue otherwise, she really didn't like to go on her gut without at least a little bit of evidence proving she should do so.

As she made her way back to headquarters, she thought of Sara, and her heart sank a little. She missed her. She missed Maura too, that much was obvious, but nothing brought her joy like Sara rushing in to their bedroom in the morning (too early, but Jane would never admit that), jumping on their bed and snuggling in between them,

Sara had been something of a miracle. They'd been through three rounds of IVF before Maura had got pregnant, which would never have happened if Maura wasn't so damn rich. They had never been more thankful of Maura's wealth than when the pregnancy test had shown the little plus sign. Jane had been terrified to touch her for days afterward, fearing she might hurt the baby if she so much as hugged her tightly. Very soon, however, Maura's hormones had made it somewhat impossible for Jane _not_ to touch her. It was either touch Maura, or get shouted at, and Jane knew which option she preferred.

There had been scares along the way. Maura had started bleeding at 23 weeks, and they'd feared their little baby may be on the way far too early, but it turned out to be just an infection. Maura had been the calmer of them, figuring that the more chilled she was, the better for the baby. Jane had done worrying enough for them both, and for their families too. She'd stay up late at night, trawling the Internet for hints and tips of how to achieve a healthy pregnancy and birth, but Maura had quickly explained, after Jane had nearly run them off the road because she was falling asleep at the wheel, that no amount of preparation was going to change what nature had in store for them. Despite the lack of control in the situation, Jane eventually decided to let things be, and to be there for and support Maura in any way she could.

Sometimes that meant going on a 3am trip to the store to buy Ben and Jerry's cookie dough, and sometimes it meant making love to Maura on her office couch, both of which Jane rather enjoyed.

When Maura had gone into labor, Jane had almost passed out, but Maura took her hand, looked into her eyes, and told her that she had to get herself together, that they were about to expand their family to three, and that she needed Jane to be able to get through it. Get through it she did, with just a few totes of gas and air and several bone crushing squeezes of Jane's hand.

And when Sara had arrived, screaming like a wonderful, miraculous banshee, Jane and Maura had cried tears of joy and relief. Jane had brushed strands of hair from Maura's perspiring forehead, whilst Sara was taken away for a wash and quick examination, and kissed her lips softly.

"I love you more than I even know how to say," she had whispered against Maura's mouth, and Maura had smiled and looked radiant despite being exhausted. She grasped Jane's hand and sighed contentedly as Sara was brought back over to them, swaddled tightly in a pale pink blanket. And when Jane held Sara, nuzzling their noses together, and telling her softly that she would always love and protect her, Maura feared her heart may actually burst with love, though she knew that was anatomically impossible.

Jane wiped at a tear on her cheek as she pulled into the car park at BPD, and let out a shaky breath.

She made her way up to her desk, sinking down into her chair and wanting nothing more than to sit on her couch at home with a few cold beers, when a thought occurred to her. She had felt uneasy in the presence of James Hardy, and decided to check him out to see if he was on the system. She would also need to determine whether he was telling the truth about where he was on August 27th, but that could be left to a uniform.

She typed in his name and the details she had on him into the system, and was slightly disappointed when she was met with a blank screen, and no priors. She did, however, notice with interest that his father had been murdered when he was nine years old.

She took out her notebook and folded down the corner of the page with notes on James Hardy. She would be coming back to him and his nervous disposition very soon.

xxx

Things are starting to happen! I hope you're still enjoying the story, your reviews mean the world to me.

On another note, if you'd like to include any one shot ideas in the review section, I'm looking to dabble in other story ideas (but don't worry, this will still be my priority!)

Thanks everyone.


	8. Chapter 8

Hi guys, just a quick note to say thank you for all your reviews. It is so motivating to read that you're enjoying this fic.

xxx

"Hey baby girl! Have you got a hug for your ma?" Jane threw her arms out wide as Sara ran at her, scooping her up against her chest and swinging her legs round.

"Mama! I missed you, you know." Sara gave Jane a kiss on her cheek, and Jane beamed, though she felt the threat of tears, along with that familiar lump in her throat. She felt the urge to cry whenever she saw Sara, partly because she was always overjoyed to see her, but mostly because their time together was so limited. And they certainly weren't on Jane's terms.

"Detective Rizzoli, nice of you to join us." Claire Sargeant, the social worker assigned to be at every meeting between Jane and Sara, sat on the very expensive, pale blue couch in Maura's living room. Jane could remember making Maura orgasm for so long, and so hard, that she'd had to carry her up to bed afterwards in the very spot she was sitting, and she was pretty damn smug about it. The woman had rubbed her up the wrong way ever since their first meeting, when she had told Jane that she was 'not what she had imagined, at all, from reading her file.' What that meant exactly, Jane wasn't sure, but she did know that she didn't like the tone with which she said it.

"Claire," she nodded, not interested in making her greeting any more detailed than that.

"Jane," Maura spoke quietly as she got to the bottom of the stairs, brushing a piece of lint from her sweater. Jane felt her mouth go dry; Maura looked stunning, as usual, but more than that, Jane could remember buying the sweater with her. Maura had dragged Jane to the opening of one of college friends' store in town, guilt-tripping her by saying that it would be rude of them not to be supportive. She had told Jane that she would treat her to a new pair of shoes, which Jane had, of course, scoffed at. She had also promised to make it up to Jane in other ways, meaning their shopping trip was quite a bit shorter than Maura had originally anticipated.

"Hey, Maur'. You okay?"

"I'm fine, thank you. Would you like a drink?"

"I'd love a coffee, I'm pooped."

"Ma! You said a bad word!" Sara looked shocked as Jane held her, and Jane laughed.

"I'm allowed to say it because I'm a grown up. You can say it when you turn eighteen, okay?"

"That's _ages_ away though!" Sara pouted.

"Patience is a virtue, sweetheart."

"What's virtue?"

Jane looked at Maura expectantly. Maura just laughed and shook her head.

"You shouldn't be drinking coffee this late in the day, you won't sleep."

"I have to go back to work this evening, this case is kicking my ass." She looked at Sara, who just rolled her eyes. Jane and Maura both chuckled as they looked at each other, quickly becoming lost in each other. Claire cleared her throat and Maura jumped slightly, muttering something about putting the kettle on for a cup of green tea, which would have to do, because she absolutely could not, in good conscience, let Jane drink coffee so late in the day.

"I heard about your case on the radio this morning, Detective. Are your investigations not going well?"

Jane clenched her jaw and placed Sara down gently before sloping across the room to sit in her old chair, which she didn't have room for at her apartment. Whatever happened, Maura had decided, she would never get rid of the thing, despite the fact it was practically falling apart. It was just so Jane.

"It's still early days, and we've got our best people on it."

"Those poor parents. I can only imagine." Claire shook her head and closed her eyes.

"Telling them about their little girl wasn't easy, I can assure you." Jane's tone was clipped, and Maura rushed over to place the tray of tea on the coffee table. She handed Jane hers, their fingers brushing together as she looked into Jane's eyes, silently asking her not to cause a scene.

"Sara, are you going to tell your mama what happened at school today?"

Jane interrupted before Sara had a chance.

"Is it okay for her to be back at school?"

"Her symptoms have gone, and she wanted to go. I saw no reason to stop her." Maura shrugged.

"Ma, they gave me a, a…" She looked at Maura quizzically.

"What's it called again mommy?"

"A cer-ti-fi-cate." She sounded out, her mouth more pronounced than usual.

"Yeah, a cercificake."

Jane chuckled hoarsely. If there was any doubt that Sara was related to Jane, it had just been erased.

"No way! What was your certificate for baby?" She motioned to Sara to sit on her lap. Sara hopped up and wrapped her arms round Jane's neck.

"It was 'cause I've been so brave with my poorly brain." Jane felt tears spring to her eyes, and she fought to swallow her emotion.

"Wow. You know, I heard that's the best certificate to have, but don't tell anyone I told you that." She winked, and Sara giggled. Maura looked at them and felt her heart swell. She could barely breathe, her heart ached for their old life so much. It was easy to forget that Claire was in the room with them, that they weren't the family they had been two years previously. But Maura had to remind herself that things were not the same, or else the pain of realising was too much to bear.

Sara yawned, and Jane had an expression of faux shock on her face.

"You, young lady, need to go to bed." She paused, then began tickling Sara, the young girl scrunching into a ball and howling with laughter.

"Mama, stop! I can't breathe!" She was giggling out of control, and it wasn't long before Jane started laughing too. She stopped her tickle attack and stroked a lock of Sara's hair behind her ear.

"Come on, sweet girl. Let's get you to bed."

"Uh, I'm sorry…" Claire started but Jane held up a hand to protest, lifting Sara up with the other arm. Maura almost swooned at how strong Jane was, still able to pick their daughter up with ease, despite the fact Maura now struggled. In fairness, Sara was almost as tall as Maura, but that didn't allow her to escape the fact that her wife's musculature had always been a huge turn on for her. Stop it, she thought to herself. Those thoughts will get you nowhere it's possible to go.

"I got it. No contact without you being there. I guess you'll just have to go to bed too." She and Sara snickered.

Jane led the way up to Sara's room with Claire close behind. She barely needed to look where she was going, having done the trip thousands of times before. She settled Sara into her bed, tucking the covers in tightly around her, and making sure she had her favourite teddy next to her on the pillow.

She brushed her fringe from her forehead and bent down to give her a kiss.

"I like it when you put me to bed, Ma. It makes me feel safe because I know you're here to protect me from the bad people." Sara's voice was small, almost imperceptible.

"Oh, baby, I'll _always_ be here to protect you. I promise you that." She knelt down beside the bed, taking Sara's hand between hers and stroking it with her thumbs.

"Nothing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around." Jane started to sing. Though Sara was too young to have seen it, Sweeney Todd was one of Jane's favourite musicals (though she would never admit it to anyone other than Maura, and even then, it would be a stretch). She had sung this particular song to Sara since she was a new born, and it was one of the only ways she knew to convey all that she felt for her daughter.

Maura stepped out of the room, giving Jane as much privacy as she could have with Claire keeping her beady eyes on her. Maura sighed and felt the familiar sadness wash over her. Her entire body ached.

With Jane singing softly, it didn't take long for Sara to fall asleep, snoring ever so slightly. It reminded Jane of Maura, who would never have admitted that she snored, despite the fact that Jane had always told her it was comforting, because it reminded her that Maura was there.

She got up slowly, careful not to make a sound and wake Sara up. She closed the door to as she left, leaving a small chink of light in case she woke up in the middle of the night. She made her way downstairs without a word to Claire, feeling it was probably less of a risk to just keep her mouth closed.

"Will you go back to the station, or can you work from home?"

"I took all the files home, so at least I can sit on my couch whilst I work," she laughed mirthlessly.

"I do hope you find the killer soon, Detective Rizzoli. I would hate for any more children to go missing. It's just awful."

Jane felt her resolve snap, despite Maura's presence calming her as always.

"Do you have any idea what it's like, to do the job I do? Clearly not, or you wouldn't make such impertinent statements." Maura was so impressed with Jane's use of the word impertinent that she did a sort of internal fist pump.

"I wasn't trying to offend you, I merely thought…"

"No, I know exactly what you were trying to do. You're trying to get a rise out of me. You're trying to get me to ask you whether you have _any_ fucking idea what it is like to see a dead child. Or what it's like to know that they were still alive when they had their teeth and fingernails pulled out. To see the blood pooled at the crotch of their jeans and know _exactly_ what happened to them before they died. To know that they were kept in a dark, dank, stinking room for weeks before they were murdered. And to know that the only person who can stop it from happening again, is me." She stood, tall and defiant, as she felt Maura rest a hand on her shoulder, squeezing lightly in an attempt to calm her.

"But it won't work. Because I don't need you to tell me what I have to do. I know what I have to do. And I'm going to do it."

Claire, for her part, didn't say a word, but stood completely still, her eyes wide and her mouth gaping slightly.

"Maura, I'll see you at the station tomorrow?"

Maura nodded as Jane turned on her heel and stalked to the front door, careful not to slam it too hard in case she woke Sara, but just enough to make her point. Once Claire had seen that Jane was indeed off the premises, she said her goodbyes to Maura and scurried out to her car.

Maura, still slightly shell shocked, sat on the couch and leaned her head back. She knew exactly what Jane went through on a daily basis, more than most people could ever understand. But to hear it all being spoken, out loud, brought back so many memories, of solving murders and bringing justice to the dead. The years spent working with Jane had been the best years of her life, before Sara came along of course, and Maura missed it, as much as she didn't miss the awful things she had seen.

Her phone buzzed from her bag, and she went to the dining room table to get it. Her heart fluttered when she saw that she had a text from Jane.

 _Ask ma to watch over Sara. Come to mine. We have to talk._

xxx

Thank you all for your support, I could never have hoped for such a lovely bunch of people enjoying my story.


	9. Chapter 9

Hey everyone. I really must apologise for the length of time it's taken me to get this update out. I've had a few problems with the old mental health as of late, but I'm back, and writing this has actually been a huge help, as it happens. Thank you for your continued patience, and on we go!

xxx

Maura did not usually get nervous. She was a rational human being who had trained her brain to work in the most efficient way possible. She knew that feeling nervous made no difference to the outcome of any situation, but she was too far gone to do much about the lurching of her stomach and palpitations of her heart now. Having received Jane's text, she had hurried to the guest house where, thankfully, Angela had still been awake, watching a talk show in bed. At first, when asking her to look after Sara for the evening, she had been vague enough that she could conceal her plan to see Jane without feeling like she was lying. It had taken the raising of a single eyebrow for Maura to crack, and she explained, breathlessly, that Jane had had an outburst during her planned visit and that she wanted to see Maura, and _of course_ she had to go and check she was okay, because what if she was in a bad mental state, who _knows_ what could happen then?

Angela had chuckled softly, and asked Maura when they planned on getting back together. Maura had blushed, but felt a wave of sadness wash over her. When her eyes filled with tears, Angela had scrambled out of bed, the covers falling to the floor, and flung her arms round the woman she still very much considered to be her daughter in law. She cradled Maura's head to her chest, stroking her soft hair gently as she wept. Angela felt a tear slide down her own cheek, and she willed herself not to think of what things had been like just two years previously. How things can change in an instant, she thought. How unfair life can be.

Maura had sobbed until she hiccupped softly and, embarrassed, had tried to pull away from Angela. She found her face encased by work-roughened, calloused hands, thumbs stroking along her cheek bones.

"Jane is the best version of herself when she's with you, Maura. Please don't ever forget that. I know she hasn't."

And Maura had known then, that things had to go back to the way they were, whatever it might take. Perhaps there little family wouldn't be exactly the same. Perhaps it would take months, years even, to get close to how it had been. But she knew, deep in her heart, that she would give everything she had to get back even a fraction of the love and the joy and the companionship she had shared with Jane.

If only she could just knock on Jane's front door, she could put her plan into action. As it was, she could only stare at the bronze numbers in front of her, too terrified to move. She found herself pressing her ear to the door, however, when she could make out the faint sound of boot-clad feet pacing across the thin carpet. So, Jane was nervous too. Maura wasn't guessing, it was a rational hypothesis based on the evidence at hand. She rolled her eyes at herself and raised her hand to knock on the door when it flew open and Jane nearly crashed into her, hair wild and eyes wide.

"Oh shit."

"Hello to you too, Jane." Maura offered her a small smile, pressing her lips together.

"Maura. Hey. I didn't think you were coming." She ran a trembling hand through her unruly curls until they stayed out of her face.

"I had a little chat with Angela." She wasn't lying, she just wasn't telling the whole truth. She prayed that would be enough to keep the hives at bay.

Jane raised an eyebrow, much like her mother had done not long before.

"Do I want to know what that was about?"

"I don't see how it's possible for me to know whether you'd want to or not, Jane." Maura looked bewildered for a moment, before she realised that Jane's question was, in all likelihood, rhetorical.

"Are you coming in?"

"Do you want me to come in?" Maura spoke with a hint of sass, and Jane's heart almost skipped a beat. She shook her head and narrowed her eyes playfully, before stepping aside and gesturing her arm towards the living room. Maura took this to mean that she was, in fact, welcome to enter Jane's apartment, and she walked in without looking at Jane, who was looking devilishly attractive leant up against the door. It was most distracting.

"I'm sorry about the mess, I know you're probably getting cranky just being in here. I know how you hate clutter." Jane did know, and Maura knew that she knew. In the years they had spent living together, there most common argument was usually caused by Jane leaving things where they shouldn't be, at least according to Maura.

"You've been very busy." Maura nodded, though she could feel herself grimacing at the dozens of beer bottles and empty takeaway food cartons strewn on the coffee table, the kitchen counter, even the television stand.

"Do you want a drink? I could really use a beer."

"I…I think I would like to use your bathroom."

"You don't have to ask Maura. There was a time we'd use the toilet in front of each other." She chuckled, the hoarseness in her voice seeming more prominent. It sent a chill down Maura's spine.

"We've seen each other in some extremely compromising positions, and of all of them, using the lavatory seems to me the least sensational." Her heart began to beat faster as her mind conjured images of said compromising positions; against a tree at the park late at night, in the passenger seat of Maura's car parked down a country lane, in a stationary cupboard at the station. Several more memories flooded Maura's mind and she mumbled something about needing to powder her nose, leaving Jane standing, slightly confused, definitely amused. She moved toward the fridge to retrieve a beer, and pulled one out for Maura too, in lieu of wine, which she most definitely did not keep in her apartment. In fact, the contents of her fridge consisted of a crate of beer, some burger cheese, and a jar of pickles. She thought it best not to mention that to Maura, or her mother for that matter.

Maura herself was sitting on the edge of the small bathtub in Jane's bathroom, a sachet of 40mg Citalopram pills in her hand. She had misplaced it when she was looking for a fresh hand towel, sending it spiralling to the ground. Before she'd had a chance to register that the contents may be private, she had seen the label, and felt a crushing weight on her chest.

She knew Jane hadn't been doing well after their separation, but the recognition that she was on anti-depressants, and at such a high dose, made Maura feel sick. Jane had been exhausted lately, and had seemed to be suffering with a cold for weeks. More than once at a planned visit, Jane had nodded off with Sara in her arms. Looking back, Maura could remember times when Jane hadn't slept for 48 hours or more, and had still been able to play airplane with their daughter. That time seemed so long ago to her.

She got up slowly, using the sink to support her. She placed the medication back as close to where she'd found it as possible, and checked her reflection in the mirror. She too had dark circles under her eyes and, of course, she missed Jane terribly and felt nothing but heartbreak when she thought of the effect their not living together was having on Sara. But she hadn't been through what Jane had. She didn't carry the same guilt as Jane. She hadn't been the one to… Maura stopped her mind from moving towards those thoughts. Even two years later, it was too painful to think about.

She left the bathroom, closing the door carefully behind her.

"Got you a beer. You look like you could use a drink, sorry it isn't that fancy Chardonnay you like. I didn't have a lot of time to prepare." Jane shrugged sheepishly, and Maura looked at the bottle on the table.

"I'm driving, Jane."

"You can have one. Promise I won't arrest you." She laughed nervously, her smile not quite reaching her eyes.

Maura stood awkwardly, wringing her hands and smoothing her jumper down. She realised she was still carrying her bag and set it down neatly by the front door.

"You can come and sit down, you know."

"I'm sorry, it's just. The last time I was here… I can't get that image out of my head. Of her, with her lips on your face." Her eyes shone with the threat of tears, and her hand flew to her neck as she felt her throat constrict.

"Maura, please, I've told you nothing happened."

"Clearly, it did." Maura felt her face grow red at the shrieks leaving her mouth.

"Will you at least give me a chance to explain?" Desperation marred Jane's dark eyes, and Maura felt a flash of pity in spite of herself. She slowed her breathing, stalked across the room in her heels and grabbed the beer from the table before taking a large swig. She winced slightly at the bitter taste, but looked Jane resolutely in the eye.

They had always promised, no matter what else happened, they wouldn't cheat on each other. To Maura, being cheated on was a sign that she had failed as a wife, a partner, a lover. And to Jane, it was a reminder that her Father had abandoned his family, which was why it had stung so much when Maura had let herself in to Jane's apartment with the spare key not long after she'd moved out, worried because no one had heard from her in almost a day, only to find her lying on the couch with a blonde woman sprawled on top of her. She hadn't stuck around to hear an explanation, because it had seemed pretty obvious what was going on.

Jane put her own beer on the table and placed her hands in her lap awkwardly. She picked at the skin around her nails.

"What you saw that night, it wasn't what it looked like. I'd been out at a bar since the middle of the afternoon. I needed to get out of this apartment, because it just reminded me that I wasn't living with you and Sara."

She smiled sadly before continuing.

"You know how I get when I've had too much to drink. I was stumbling about all over the place, and at first I thought of calling you, but I think it would've been too embarrassing for you to see me like that. But this woman, the one who was here, she offered to give me a ride home. And even though my rational cop brain was telling me not to get into some stranger's car, all I wanted to do was get into my bed and stay there for a few days."

Maura sipped her beer, feeling the coldness slip down her throat. She willed herself not to cry, told herself to be strong and listen to Jane finish.

"She managed to get me up the stairs, and she opened the door and got me inside. I was half asleep when she started kissing me. Now that I think about it, that's slightly concerning." She chuckled, but Maura remained stony faced.

"I was already lying down, so when you came in… I can see what it might have looked like. I was just about to tell her to get off me, that I had a wife and a little girl who meant the world to me, and to apologise for giving off whatever vibe it was that might have made her think I was available. But then you were there, and you were obviously shocked, and _I_ was shocked too y'know Maur'. I wasn't expecting you to be there. And I couldn't move. And then you were gone, and I…" Her voice cracked, and her breath became shallow as she tried to regain control.

"I'd never seen you look so heartbroken, and it killed me, Maura. I hate myself for not getting up and going after you. There have been so many nights when I've lay in bed, awake for hours, playing it over and over in my head. If I'd just gone to you, and explained, and held you in my arms, maybe you'd see that it wasn't what it looked like."

Maura saw the dark, almost bruise-like circles under Jane's eyes, the bitten down nails, and the sag of her shoulders, and she reached out a hand to stop her from trembling.

"Why didn't you tell me this before?" She whispered, a thumb stroking Jane's hand tenderly, rubbing the scar at the centre of her palm.

"I figured you'd made your mind up, and Lord knows, once it's made up there's not much anyone can do to change it."

Maura smiled, her eyes shiny with tears.

"No, I suppose there isn't."

"I'm sorry, Maura. I should've fought harder for you."

"It's in the past. We can't change it. And if we're going to talk about things we could have done differently, I should have realised that you'd never do that to me. You're too good a person to ever do something so cruel. I realise that now."

She reached out to brush a stray curl from Jane's face, and pressed her palm against a sharp cheekbone.

"I ruined everything, Maur', and I don't know how to make it right."

Maura felt her resolve crack and her mouth turn downward in a grimace. Tears spilled onto her cheeks and she pulled Jane into a fierce hug.

"It's not your fault. You didn't ruin anything, Jane. It was that damn serial killer's fault." She murmured against Jane's temple, her lips brushing against the warm skin there.

"I always liked it when you cursed," Jane sniffled, pressing her face into Maura's neck. "It felt like I was the only one who got to see that side of you." She pulled back, resting her forehead against Maura's. Maura felt her face grow warm at the closeness, and her gaze dropped to Jane's lips.

"I've always felt most comfortable around you, Jane. That hasn't changed."

She moved forward, wetting her lips before pressing them against Jane's. The feeling of familiarity drew a sob from her chest as she wrapped her arms around Jane's neck, pulling her closer as their kiss intensified. Jane opened her mouth and grabbed Maura around her waist simultaneously, pushing her down into the couch and resting on top of her. Maura moaned and ran her hands across Jane's back, needing more contact.

"Maura, I love you, I love you so much." Jane's hands moved up Maura's sides, pushing her sweater up for better access, as a tear dripped down her nose. Maura kissed it away.

"God, I've missed you. I need you to touch me." The words tumbled from her mouth in a breathy whisper.

Jane, ever the compliant partner, did as she was told, and palmed a soft, full breast, eliciting a hiss from Maura. Jane smirked, and continued her ministrations as she nipped and sucked at her neck. Maura could feel wetness pooling in her underwear, and her hips bucked upwards to meet Jane's. They both let out a simultaneous groan at the contact, and Jane pulled at the button of Maura's jeans roughly, almost aggressively, to undo them.

There was a buzzing in Maura's bag, and her head fell back against the armrest of the couch.

"Jane…Jane that's my phone." She pushed lightly against Jane's shoulders, but allowed her to keep kissing her throat, her collarbone, her chest.

"It might be something important."

Jane pulled back reluctantly, and hopped off the couch. Maura felt bare without Jane's weight on top of her. Jane grabbed Maura's phone, looked at the screen, then looked up.

"It's ma." Maura felt her stomach lurch as Jane answered it.

"Ma, it's me. What's up?" She wrapped her arm round her thin waist, and popped the little finger of the hand holding Maura's phone in her mouth, chewing at the end lightly.

"Jane? I'm in an ambulance with Sara, she had another seizure. Oh God, Janie, she wouldn't wake up, and I was so scared." Angela was in tears, and Jane could hear the distress in her voice.

"Are they taking her to Mercy?"

"Yeah, I think that's what they said. Please, Janie, come quickly, I feel so useless, I don't know what to do."

"It's okay ma, it's okay. Just stay with her, we'll be there as soon as we can."

She hung up the call and looked at Maura, whose face was contorted in panic.

"She's had another seizure, ma's with her in the ambulance. Come on, I'll drive."

"Oh Jane, oh God, I should've been there. I shouldn't have left her alone." Maura, who had stood up in an attempt to feel like she was doing something proactive, pressed her hands to her face as her throat tightened. Jane stepped toward her, placing her own hands over Maura's.

"Maura, listen to me. You had no idea this was going to happen tonight. Neither of us did. We just have to be there for her now. You need to be calm, because otherwise I'm gonna lose it. Okay?"

Maura swallowed and bit her lip, her whole body shaking.

"Okay. Let's go."

Jane grabbed her keys, pulled on a jacket and led Maura to her car. She prayed, for the first time in years, that God would be kind to her.

She prayed He wouldn't take any else away from her.

xxx

There you are folks. Reviews are love.


	10. Chapter 10

You guys are the absolute best. Thank you so much for your continued support. Hopefully this chapter will give you some of the answers you've been looking for.

xxx

 _Jane's entire body shook as she woke, her nightmare playing on a loop behind her eyes. Maura's arm was draped across her waist, and her head rested on Jane's shoulder. Jane's mind didn't register the contact, her mind preoccupied with making sure her family were kept safe._

 _She was gentle in moving Maura's arm back over to her side of the bed, though the doctor hadn't slept properly in weeks, so Jane needn't have worried about waking her. She stood and made her way to the closet, the cool air in their bedroom sending a chill down her sweat-drenched back, before tapping in the code for her gun locker. She pulled out her Glock and a magazine of ammunition before loading. She rested her finger next to the trigger, ready to shoot as soon as she needed to._

 _There was a man in the house. He had broken in through the back door, using a glass cutter to stick his hand in and turn the lock. He had a gun, and his first target was Sara. Sara, who was sleeping soundly in her bed with her night light on. Sara, who was completely defenceless. Wasn't it Jane's duty to protect her family?_

 _She made her way across the hall, past the top of the stairs, and stood at the door of Sara's room. The man was leaning over Sara, using the barrel of the gun to brush the hair from her face. Jane felt rage bubble in her stomach, and almost burst in right at that moment, her maternal instinct almost overriding her years of police training. She cocked the gun, making sure it was primed and ready._

" _Hello Sara. You don't know me, but I know you." The man's voice came out as a hiss, and Jane felt her stomach contort with fear._

" _That's it sweetheart, wake up for me." Sara stirred from sleep, rubbing her eyes as she clambered into an upright position. She shrunk back into the corner of her bed, arms wrapped round herself in a meagre attempt at defence._

" _Your mommies have been very bad, and we need to teach them a lesson." He leaned over Sara and whispered so quietly that Jane had to strain her ears to be able to hear._

" _Which mommy do you like best, Sara? Because you're going to have to kill the other one, I'm sorry to say." He stuck out his bottom lip as Sara's eyes widened, her head shaking from side to side. The man nodded his head in a reply, his icy blue eyes gazing deep into Sara's._

" _Here, you've seen your police mommy use a gun before, haven't you? Take it."_

 _He was just about to hand the gun to Sara when Jane burst into the room, the door crashing into the wall, and pointed her weapon at the man._

" _Get away from my daughter." She growled, teeth bared._

" _Mama?" Sara whispered sleepily as she woke up._

" _Why have you got a gun, ma?" Jane shook her head, images blurring as she tried to make sense of the situation. She kept the gun pointed at Sara._

" _This man is not a good person, baby. He's trying to hurt you." She shuddered, her teeth chattering._

" _What man, mama?" Sara looked around the room in terror and pulled her blankets up over her chest, covering the lower half of her face._

" _He's right_ there _Sara, can't you see him? Please get away from my daughter, or I will shoot you."_

" _Ma you're scaring me."_

" _It's okay baby girl, nothing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around, see?" She moved her finger onto the trigger just as Maura rushed into the room._

" _Jane? Oh, God, Jane. Can you hear me?" She moved to place a hand on Jane's shoulder but thought better of it when she saw the gun in her trembling hands._

" _Jane, it's me. It's Maura. Jane, no one's going to hurt Sara. She's safe,_ we're _safe. Please put the gun down."_

" _Can't do that Maura. He's gonna make her kill us, I_ know _he is. Just like he did with Miller. He made me shoot him, Maura. And now he's gonna make her do the same. I can't let her go through that, not our Sara." Tears rolled down her cheeks and her entire body was convulsing._

" _Jane, sweetheart, there's no one there. There's no one there. We're okay, there's no one else in the house but you and I and Sara." She stepped forward, afraid to touch Jane but running out of options as Jane's hands shook with increased intensity. She wrapped her fingers around Jane's hand, praying it wouldn't cause her to fire the gun. She spared a glance at Sara, who was weeping underneath her blankets._

" _It's okay, Sara. Mama's just having a bad dream. We're all going to be just fine." Her voice wavered, but she felt a rush of relief as Jane seemed to relax before taking her finger away from the trigger of the gun. Maura, moving as slowly as she could, slid her fingertips between Jane's hand and the gun, prising it out of her grasp gently._

" _There we go. We don't need a gun, my love. Everyone's okay. We're all okay. He's not here. He's dead, okay?"_

 _Jane nodded, her arms falling to her sides as she regained control over her mind. She stumbled backwards, slumping against the wall and falling to the floor. Maura shut the gun in Sara's drawer and ran to her daughter, wrapping her in her arms and kissing the top of her head. She rubbed her back to try and soothe her as Jane sat in the corner, head in her hands._

" _Oh God. Oh_ God _, what have I done. Maura?" She looked up at her wife, who was sobbing into the top of Sara's head._

" _Maura? Why are we in Sara's room? Is she okay?" She stood and began to move forward, but stopped when Maura put out her hand._

" _Jane, please, just stay there. Sara's a little frightened, and I need to calm her down. Why don't you go back to our bedroom?"_

" _Did I do something bad? Did I hurt her?" She was hysterical, her voice coming out in rasps._

" _She's okay, Jane. She'll be okay."_

" _Maura, please, what did I do?"_

" _I'll explain it to you later, it's not appropriate to do this in front of Sara." Sara herself was hiccupping softly against Maura's chest._

" _Maura, for Christ's sake…"_

" _You pointed a gun at our child, Jane. Is that what you wanted to hear?" She took a breath, and closed her eyes. "I'm sorry, let me just calm her down." Sara looked at Jane from beneath tear-soaked lashes, her bottom lip quivering as she clutched at Maura._

 _Jane's jaw fell open and her brow furrowed, and she felt as though all the air had been kicked out of her._

" _I…I didn't… There was a man. Maura, I swear he was standing over her." She looked down at her hands, feeling the weight of the gun in them again. "Or… Maybe he… I can't remember." She pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes, shoulders hunching as she broke down._

" _Jane, you have severe PTSD, as I've been trying to tell you for weeks. I knew you were suffering, but I told myself that you were in control. Clearly I was wrong." Maura's eyes shone with rage and she squeezed Sara tighter to her._

" _Maura, I've been trying…"_

" _I've been telling you to see someone for weeks, and you just thought you could get better on your own? I never thought it would come to this." She pressed her cheek into the top of Sara's head, and stroked her face with the back of her fingers, shh-ing her gently._

" _Please, Maura, tell me how I can make this better." She held out her hands, and Maura could see them trembling from across the room. Her chest hurt, and tears tumbled down her cheeks._

 _She looked deep into Jane's dark eyes and started to respond, but found that all she could do was shake her head._

xxx

So, there we go. Hopefully things are starting to come together now. Please do let me know what you thought.


	11. Chapter 11

I'm so sorry for the delay in getting this update to you. I hope this chapter serves as an adequate apology. Thank you for your continued support, it gives me such a boost. On we go…

xxx

The family waiting room at the hospital was so quiet it was giving Jane a headache, and the flickering light in the corner certainly wasn't helping matters. The silence offered no distraction from the panic setting into her mind. It had been something of a whirlwind, somehow getting a distraught Maura into the car, speeding off to the hospital faster than she would have if she were in pursuit of a suspect, and meeting up with Angela at the Emergency Department. Jane had let Maura go in with Sara, partly because she seemed the more frantic of the two, and partly because Jane didn't know if she was ready to see her daughter in such a condition again.

Angela had finally stopped sobbing and was now hiccupping into her handkerchief. Jane had her arm around her, her thumb stroking a trembling shoulder to offer some comfort. They were the only people in the room, and Jane supposed that was a good thing, though she wished she could quell the surprising awkwardness that had settled between her and her mother.

Angela had apologised dozens of times since they'd been there. Jane, of course, had told her to stop being silly, that she couldn't have known what was going to happen. No one could. But Angela felt, as many grandmothers do, that her responsibility was even greater than that of Sara's parents.

Jane pulled her phone from her belt for no reason other than to try and distract herself. Maura had stopped crying by the time they'd reached the hospital, but her breathing had been erratic and she'd not looked at Jane since they'd arrived. Jane couldn't help but assume that she was mad at her for drawing her away from Sara this evening, for being the reason behind Maura not being present when Sara became ill.

The door opened slowly and a tall, greying man in pale blue scrubs, whose face was worn and whose eyes were blackened by the stress and grief only a doctor can know walked in with a definite stoop in his shoulders. Jane removed her arm from Angela's back and stood up in one fluid movement, fingers tangling together in an attempt to keep herself grounded.

"Is she okay? Is Sara okay?"

"She's fine." He smiled.

"She had a slight reaction to her medication, but we've stabilized her. She's a little out of it, but you can come and see her if you like." Jane let out a breath and felt a lump form in her throat. She hadn't allowed herself to feel until this moment, afraid that if she had, she wouldn't have been able to stop crying. She pinched the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes for a split second.

"Of course, can my ma come too?"

"We'd like to keep visitors to a minimum for the moment, but your wife was asking for you."

"She's not my…" Jane paused, realising that Maura was, in fact, still her wife. She nodded, and followed the doctor to Sara's private room, which she was sure was down to Maura's pull, despite having not been Chief Medical Examiner for two years.

The doctor opened the door gently and held it open as Jane entered. Maura looked up, her face blotchy but demeanour altogether more calm than she had been the last time Jane was with her. She smiled, and turned in her chair, which was positioned next to Sara in her bed.

"She's alright, Jane. She's sleepy, but she's still awake. I told her if she stayed up just a little longer her mama would come and see her."

Jane couldn't talk. She could barely breathe. The seizures had happened in such a short amount of time, she couldn't help but wonder if it would always be like this. The thought of Sara having to endure this forever was almost too much to bear. She looked at her daughter, tiny in the hospital bed, with a cannula in her hand and oxygen tubes resting under her nostrils. She brought a trembling hand to her mouth, tears threatening to escape.

Maura stood and walked to Jane and, without saying a word, slid her hands up Jane's chest before wrapping her arms round her neck. She nuzzled her nose into the warmth of Jane's shoulder and pressed a soft kiss there.

"She's going to be okay, it's a side effect of her medication. They just need to alter the dosage. Please, don't worry too much." Maura

"Aren't you worried?" Jane had buried her face in Maura's hair, the scent of her shampoo familiar and comforting.

"Of course I am. But I trust medicine and I trust science, and her condition has improved since we've been here. It's a good sign, Jane. Do you trust me?"

She pulled back, looking up into Jane's eyes, and grasped Jane's fingers.

"I do. I do trust you. Can I say hi? I think I'll feel better if I speak to her." Her voice came out as barely a whisper. Maura brought Jane's hand to her lips and kissed her palm, lips brushing against the sensitive, scarred skin at the centre.

She pulled Jane toward the bed, and allowed her to sit in the chair. Jane reached out to brush stray hairs from Sara's forehead. As she did, Sara's eyes fluttered open, and she smiled so brightly Jane couldn't control her tears.

"Hi baby," she croaked, biting her bottom lip to try and control herself.

"Mama? Do you and mommy love each other again?"

Jane and Maura looked at Sara, looked at each other, then burst out laughing. Jane pulled Sara close to her, being careful not to disturb the wires and tubes, and smiled into her hair.

"Well, I can only speak for myself sweetheart, but I never stopped loving your mommy. I don't think I ever will." Maura looked at Jane with such adoration she thought her heart might actually burst.

Sara smiled, and cosied into Jane's arms, falling asleep within a few moments. Jane laid her back gently, making sure the covers were as high as they would go, and leant across to kiss her forehead softly.

She stood up as a nurse entered.

"We'll have to perform some more tests now, I'm afraid. Would you mind stepping out whilst we do?"

"Of course not. Jane, would you like to get a cup of coffee?"

"I'm not sure they have your kind of coffee here, Maura." Jane chuckled, but held her arm out, and Maura led the way to the waiting area.

"We should probably tell ma that Sara's okay." Jane made her way to the family room as Maura headed toward the vending machine down the hallway. They met back at the chairs outside Sara's room, keeping quiet vigil.

"When she was born, I swore I would love and protect her with everything that I have. I swore that I would always keep my family safe. It was like it was my reason for being, to protect her, to make sure she was happy. And to make sure _you_ were happy too, Maura." Jane looked up from the floor and gazed into Maura's eyes as tears welled in her own. Maura rubbed comforting circles on Jane's thigh with her thumb.

"What if you hadn't have come in that night, Maura? What if I'd… Oh, God." Jane brought her hands up to her face and covered her shame. She sobbed, tears spilling between her fingers, her back heaving with the effort of it all.

"Oh, Jane." Maura threw her arms around Jane's quivering body, pulling her as close as possible, placing soft kisses at her temple.

"It's okay. She's okay. We're okay, Jane, my love."

"We're not okay, Maura. We haven't been okay since…" She paused, weighing the words up in her mind.

"Since I nearly shot our child. I pointed a gun at her, Maura! I had my finger on the trigger, and I was ready to do it. I was so _sure_ he was there, he was going to hurt her. And if you'd come in a second later, I think I would've done it. And I would never forgive myself if I hurt her. I wouldn't be able to live with myself." She trailed off, letting the immensity of her speech rest between them.

"Jane, you didn't hurt her. It was terrifying and awful and I don't know what I would've done if things had turned out differently, but the fact is, they didn't. You didn't hurt her. I calmed you down. No one was harmed."

"I harmed you, didn't I? I harmed us. I don't know if things will ever be the same again, Maura. We were so happy, and then _he_ happened, and now I don't know if we can ever get it back. I just want to be able to love you freely. To spend time with you and Sara, without some stranger there watching over me, in case I flip my shit again, or get my gun, or…" She was close to hyperventilating now, and Maura did the only thing she could think of that may serve to calm Jane down.

She grabbed Jane's face with both hands and pulled her close, lips seeking lips ferociously. She palmed the back of Jane's head, pulling her impossibly closer, her other hand going to Jane's waist. She broke away, resting her forehead on Jane's as they both caught their breath.

"Jane, I love you. Sara loves you. That will be enough. We're going to get through this, I promise." She kissed Jane's nose.

"I wish you'd spoken to be like this before now. There's been this, this _giraffe_ in the room since that night, and I was never quite sure on how to broach the subject, but now it's all out, and you're _laughing_ at me. Jane!" She swatted Jane's arm playfully, crossing her arms and hmph-ing.

"I'm sorry, Maur', I really am, but _giraffe_? You are so cute when you get your metaphors wrong."

"Well what is it _supposed_ to be?"

"It's an elephant, Maura. An elephant in the room. I think it's disappeared now though." Jane smiled, brushing tears from her cheeks and leaning forward to kiss Maura once more.

xxx

This is not the end! Oh Lord no. There is much still to come, but I thought this was a nice place to end it, considering all the nasty things I've put this little family through recently. Reviews are everything.


	12. Update

Hi everyone, sorry to get your hopes up but this is just a note to say that I haven't forgotten this story. I'm by no means done with it. I've just been super, super busy with work, and haven't had a moment where I've had the time/motivation to update with another chapter.

Please forgive me, and don't give up on me. We're going to finish this, together.


	13. Chapter 12

Thank you again for all your continued support. Now, on with the story! Lord knows I've made you wait long enough…

xxx

Jane strolled down the hospital corridor carrying two paper cups of nasty coffee, with a spring in her step she'd not felt for years. Granted, she'd had about half an hour of sleep during the whole night, but she'd spent it curled against Maura in the cot a kind nurse had set up for them, so they could sleep beside Sara.

Maura, who had always been the first to fall asleep in any situation, had nuzzled her back into Jane's front and pulled Jane's arm round her waist. For Jane, it was as if no time had passed since the last time they had slept in that position. Maura was making the little squeaky noises she had always made as she was falling asleep, resting her hand on her own cheek, and it felt as though they had been transported back two years, before everything had fallen apart. Jane had never imagined they would ever get back to this point, but here they were, and it gave her hope for the future.

Jane had been on the brink of sleep when Maura had turned at some point in the night, and their lips had met clumsily and she had wrapped her arms round Maura's back and pulled her as close as she could. Neither wanted it to go any further, and were content to reacquaint themselves with each other. Maura had cupped Jane's cheek and run her fingers through Jane's tangled hair, and Jane had felt a tear trickle down her face, a product of her joy.

Coffee was a necessity when they'd woken at 5:30, and Jane had been all too happy to oblige. It reminded her of old times, just after Sara had been born, and they'd brought her into their bed with them, cuddling her and gazing at her in awe. Jane would make her way down to the kitchen and make them a cup of instant coffee despite Maura pleading with her to just _read the manual_ of the thousand-dollar coffee machine sitting on the counter. Jane, of course, had not read the manual but somehow she knew that Maura didn't mind, because the coffee never went to waste. They would watch early morning television together, snoozing, feeding Sara, and making her feel as loved as they possibly could.

Jane pushed the door to Sara's room open with her foot slowly, careful not to spill any of the precious liquid from the paper cups, and felt her heart swell at the sight that greeted her. Maura had climbed into bed with Sara and had pulled her against her side, an arm draped across their daughter's shoulders. Jane grinned and moved toward the bed, placing the cups on the bedside table. She leant over to kiss Sara's forehead, and then Maura's. Sara stirred and smiled at Jane, her eyes twinkling.

"Hey mama! I didn't know you stayed last night. I didn't think you were allowed." Jane bowed her head for a moment and felt her stomach clench.

"You weren't well baby, I wasn't about to leave you, even with mommy here. We both wanted to take care of you last night, even though the nurses and doctors are all doing such a great job."

"Well I like having you here when I wake up," Sara beamed.

"Me too sweetheart." Jane brushed Sara's hair from her forehead and gave her another kiss, this time on the tip of her nose. Sara giggled, waking Maura. Jane held out one of the coffee cups.

"I think you might be needing this," she said warmly, and Maura almost ripped it from her hands, a gracious expression on her face. She took a sip and closed her eyes, a small smile breaking across her lips.

"This is the worst coffee I've ever tasted, but I love it."

Jane chuckled.

"It's better than nothing, at least that's what I figured." She turned to Sara.

"How are you feeling this morning sweetpea?"

"I'm still sleepy, but my head doesn't hurt anymore. Can I come home today? Can _you_ come home today, mama?" She scrambled out from under the covers and knelt on the bed, reaching her arms out to Jane, who picked her up with ease and held her close.

"I don't know if I can today, babygirl. But I really, _really_ hope that it'll be soon." She nuzzled her nose into Sara's hair and hugged her tight. She met eyes with Maura and smiled, feeling more content than she had done in a very long time.

Suddenly, her phone rang, and she jolted. She placed Sara back into bed carefully, and grabbed her phone from her belt.

"Rizzoli."

Maura heard the undoubtable boom of Korsak's voice and noticed Jane stiffen at whatever he was saying.

"Oh, God. Okay, I'll be there in twenty."

She tapped the screen to end the call and slotted her phone back in its holster. She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. Maura took her aside, out of the way of Sara, though that didn't stop her from leaning in to try and see what her mommies were talking about.

"They've found another one, Maur'. A boy this time. Korsak says it's real bad, I have to go, I'm sorry." Maura found Jane's hand and gave it a squeeze. She smiled her most brilliant smile, knowing it would go some way in setting Jane's mind at ease.

"Do you need me to do the autopsy again?"

"I hate asking you Maura, I hope you know that, but there's no one as good as you."

"I'd say that's correct."

Jane beamed and kissed Maura gently, running her hand up her arm.

"Yuck!" Sara humphed from the bed, and Maura giggled against Jane's mouth.

"I'll call you later, when we need you."

"Don't you always need me?"

"Maura Isles, you are getting a little too sassy for my liking."

Maura winked and Jane felt that familiar fluttering in her stomach. She finally felt as though things may be able to go back to the way they used to be.

xxx

Wanted to get a short update out for you all, for being so patient! More to come soon, I promise.


	14. Chapter 13

Happy New Year folks! Hope you all had a great time celebrating. I've been sick with the flu, hence the lack of update for what has been, I admit, far too long. I hope you can forgive me. Chapter 13 already, I can't believe it! Unlucky for some. Buckle in folks, it's about to get bumpy… [TW. Sexual assault and torture of children.]

xxx

The brakes on Jane's car screeched in protest as she pulled up at the crime scene, and she made a mental note to ask Giovanni to look at it. He may have been a bit of a creep who had once tried to lick Maura's face (a fact Jane tried desperately to keep from thinking about too often), he always gave her a good deal on car services.

She pinched the bridge of her nose as she looked out on the field, spotting the uniforms and Korsak's unmistakeable form a few hundred yards away. She breathed out slowly and tried to control the clenching of her stomach, and the anxiety that blossomed across her chest.

As she made her way to the crime scene, she felt her legs trembling, and the scars on the palms of her hands began to ache. She flexed her fingers and rubbed her hands together in an attempt to loosen them up.

"How's Sara, Janie?" Korsak's eyes were soft as he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"She's doing okay, thanks Korsak." Jane's voice was husky with sleep deprivation and Korsak nodded. This was not the place to discuss the person most precious to Jane.

They moved toward the gathering of uniforms and crime scene techs who were crouched low on the ground around the body of a young girl, about the same age as April. Though Jane's heart was racing and her brain was screaming at her not to go closer, she knew she had to. She pushed branches and leaves out of the way and came to a stop a few feet from the dump site.

The little girl's blonde hair was matted to her head with blood, which looked to have come predominantly from a huge gash on her temple. Jane swallowed thickly and let out a shuddering breath. Her gaze moved down the child's body, vision growing hazy at the slit in her throat and her bloody fingernails. Her skin was pallid and her eyes stared wide up at the sky. Jane felt her palms grow sweaty.

"Have we got anything?"

"Still working through everything but it doesn't look good. Maura doing the autopsy?"

"Yeah, I'll give her a call." Jane paused and looked Korsak straight in the eye, her own glistening with tears.

"We gotta catch him, Vince. We can't let anyone else lose a kid like this, it's… I've never seen anything like this."

Korsak took Jane's hand between his own and squeezed.

"We'll get him Janie. We always do."

Jane wiped at her eyes and pulled her hand back. A few years prior she would've felt embarrassed, but Korsak had seen her at her very worst in the weeks following her split with Maura.

As she got into her car, Jane pulled out her mobile and tapped Maura's number.

"Jane, are you okay?"

"It's another bad one, Maura. You sure you don't mind doing the autopsy?"

"I've seen my fair share of horrors, I'll be fine." Maura said softly, and Jane nodded to no one in particular.

"Do you ever wish we didn't do the job we do?"

"I don't do the job you do." Jane rolled her eyes.

"Well not anymore, but you did. Do you ever feel like there's a limit on how much awful shit you can see, and once you reach that limit you won't be able to go on doing it anymore?"

There was a pause, and Jane felt a flutter in her stomach that she may have overshared.

"I think that being out of the game for the last two years has given me a chance to reflect on my life as a Medical Examiner."

"Chief Medical Examiner, don't you forget it." Jane interjected. Maura chuckled.

"Jane, I loved my job. I loved being able to speak for the dead, to bring justice to those taken from this earth too soon. I loved sending murderers and rapists, evil people, to prison. It wasn't always black and white, but it made sense, what I did. _And_ what you do. There would be murders whether you did this job or not, Jane. But I can say with pretty much one hundred percent certainty, there would be more killers on the streets, more victims, if you _didn't_ do the job that you do. I truly believe that."

Jane felt a tear slide down her cheek but she made no move to wipe it away. She was frozen by Maura's words, frozen by the loving tone in which she had spoken them.

"You always knew what to say to me to make me feel better, whenever there was a particularly hard case. I don't think I ever really thanked you enough for that."

"You don't need to thank me, what am I here for?"

"I'm sorry you had to give it up because of me," Jane whispered, ashamed to admit out loud that she had been the reason their lives had changed so radically.

"It is what it is. I've had an incredibly fulfilling time at the clinics, it's a different kind of job satisfaction, but it's satisfying nonetheless."

"Are you okay to come by the station in about an hour? They're bringing the body in soon."

"I'll be there."

Jane slid her phone back into her belt and leant back against the headrest, closing her eyes for just a moment. She thought of a case they'd worked on over ten years ago, before Sara had been born, not long after they'd confessed their feelings for each other. They had worked day and night to find a killer who had been targeting prostitutes, with every person on the team going without sleep for days. When they finally brought him in, Jane had interrogated him so hard that he eventually confessed to every murder, and her performance on the case sent whispers of a promotion around the station.

Jane had, of course, dismissed the rumours and told Maura that she was perfectly happy being a good, old fashioned detective, doing the dirty work and getting stuck right in. Maura had felt such a surge of love for Jane in that moment that she had done things to her that made the two of them blush to this day.

This case was kicking her ass, and she didn't know if or when they would catch the killer, but she did know that there was a light at the end of the tunnel.

Back at the station, she waited in reception to let Maura in. When she walked through the automatic doors, Jane felt just a little of the weight on her shoulders lift. Maura had changed into a loose-fitting dress, with a bright orange pattern running down the left side, and a fitted white blazer. The mere sight of her lightened Jane's mood in a way she didn't think was possible. Maura, of course, looked stunning, and Jane felt the familiar twinge in her lower abdomen. She pushed the distractions from her mind, and welcomed Maura with a tight hug.

"Thank you for doing this," she whispered against Maura's ear, hands caressing her lower back gently.

"I'm glad I can help," Maura replied, nuzzling her face into the crook of Jane's neck. Two uniformed officers nudged each other as they walked past, wide-eyed at the apparent reunion of the legendary Rizzoli and Isles. Their break up, and the reasons behind it, had been hot gossip at the time, and any developments were sure to be met with intrigue in the locker room.

They made their way down to the morgue, Jane waiting patiently for Maura to change. She wanted so desperately to stride into the changing room, pick Maura up and kiss every inch of her, but she wasn't entirely sure where they stood after recent events.

Had Sara not been ill, Jane was sure they would have kept going into the night. She hadn't imagined the sexual sparks in the air, the longing in Maura's moans. And they had shared a bed in the hospital, hadn't they?

What it all meant, Jane had no idea. But she was content to just spend time with Maura, and see where it took them, despite the throbbing between her legs. Her passion was not sated even with Maura in scrubs. It had been a look that Jane had always found incredibly attractive.

She remembered why they were there suddenly and all the moisture seemed to disappear from her mouth. She bent over the sink for a moment, jumping slightly when she felt Maura's hand on her back.

"Jane, do you need to sit down?" There was worry apparent in Maura's tone, and Jane smiled wearily.

"Just tired," she husked, wiping at her eyes for effect.

"When was the last time you slept for more than a couple of hours?"

"I'm gonna say maybe when I was about eight? It's fine, I'll sleep when this case is over." Neither of them believed it, but Maura nodded and set about preparing for the autopsy.

When the body was brought in, they looked into each other's eyes, offering silent support for what was about to happen. This autopsy was harder than the first. Jane knew what to expect, based on the injuries April had received, but knowing that the killer was still out there, and that he was working at a terrifyingly quick rate, made her blood boil.

Back at her desk, Jane sat with her head in her hands, waiting for Maura to finish up her report, something she'd always preferred to do alone.

"I'm sorry Jane," she said quietly. "There wasn't anything on the body that could help us. I'll go over everything again but I wanted you to know."

For a moment, Jane didn't move. Maura couldn't even make out the rise and fall of her back as she breathed. Suddenly she was on her feet, swiping papers and folders from her desk, and kicking her waste paper basket across the room. Maura jumped back with a start, and Korsak looked up from his desk with a frown.

Jane stood with her hands on her hips, chest heaving, bottom lip trembling. Her eyes were wide and her cheeks were flushed. Slowly, she dropped her hands and let her arms hang by her sides.

"I'm sorry, I feel like I've needed to do that for a while." She bent down to pick up the contents of her desk, and Korsak brought her basket over.

"Happens to the best of us, Janie."

"I feel better now." Jane swallowed and sat back down on her chair.

"Sorry Maur', didn't mean to frighten you."

"What frightens me are your periorbital circles. Seriously Jane, I'm going to have to take strong action if you don't get some proper sleep soon."

Korsak raised his eyes at Frankie, who shrugged in response. Everybody knew that Jane and Maura were soulmates, it was just a matter of time before they realised that themselves. Jane rolled her eyes and shuffled the papers back into order. On one page from an old case, she noticed something that made her stop.

"Frankie, can you pull up a list of ex-convicts in the area that April Pascoe lived? Maybe we're not being straightforward enough with this investigation."

Frankie began tapping away furiously at his keyboard, before swinging his monitor round and beckoning Jane over.

"Samuel Hansen, 53, lives half a mile away. Check out his record."

"Sexual assault on a minor, ten years ago, son of a bitch, that's gotta be at least cause to bring him in and see if we can't get him to confess?" Jane looked at Korsak who thought for a moment before nodding.

"I don't see why we can't have a nice, not too friendly chat with Mr. Hansen." Jane smiled wide.

"Frankie, feel like bringing him in? I've gotta call Ma, she's with Sara and I wanna speak to her." She looked at Maura with kind eyes, and smiled.

"Sure Janie, we'll have him here as soon as possible. Tell Sara feel better and I love her."

Jane put Angela on speaker in an interview room so that she could speak to Sara with Maura. She felt tears threatening when Sara said how nice it was to spend time with her Nonna. Despite everything that had happened, she'd been able, with Maura, to raise a daughter she was incredibly proud of.

Within half an hour, Frankie had brought Samuel Hansen in for questioning. Hansen was grossly overweight, and his gut hung below the bottom of his t-shirt. He wore loose grey joggers and old, tattered Nike trainers. Jane grimaced, and felt anger boiling in the pit of her stomach.

"Mr Hansen, do you know why we've brought you in today?"

"No clue," Hansen muttered nonchalantly, chewing on the end of his little finger.

Jane slammed her hands down on the desk and he jumped back, his chair screeching against the tiled floor.

"In the past few days I've had to witness the autopsies of two little girls, you know anything about that?"

"Got nothing to do with me." His tone was beginning to grate on Jane, and she moved so her face was inches away from Hansen's. She winced at his sour breath.

"I know who you are and what you've done, Mr. Hansen. You raped a fourteen year old girl ten years ago, and threatened to kill her if she told anyone. But that wasn't young enough for you, was it? You raped these little girls didn't you?" She placed photos from the crime scenes on the desk, and his face paled.

"You raped them as they screamed in pain. You tortured them until they were too terrified to fight against you. And then you slit their throats, and you enjoyed it, you sick fuck."

"I don't know anything about this!" Hansen went to stand up but Jane pushed down on his shoulder, and he slumped back on the chair, its legs groaning under his weight.

"I swear to God you'll go down for this. I'll see that you rot in a cell for the rest of your sorry, worthless life." She grabbed him under the armpits, lifting him out of his chair with surprising strength, and slamming him against the wall.

"Do you get a kick out of watching them suffer? Do you enjoy making them scream?" She pressed her arm against his chest and he gasped for air.

"I don't know anything I swear, please, you're hurting me!"

Korsak crashed through the door and placed a hand on Jane's back. She flinched.

"Detective Rizzoli, will you join me outside for a moment?"

Jane threw one last look of contempt at Hansen before pulling back, leaving him clutching at his chest, his face red and glistening with sweat.

"Save it Vince, I really don't need to hear how I overreacted in there," Jane hissed when they reached the corridor outside the room.

"You've gotta calm down. This case is getting to you. It's awful, I know it is, but we have to remain professional."

Jane rubbed her forehead and nodded, muttering an apology so quietly Korsak knew she regretted how she'd reacted.

"Go get yourself a coffee and we'll come back to this in a minute, okay?"

Jane stalked off down the corridor and before she knew it she'd made it to Maura's old office, muscle memory taking her to the place that had once provided comfort. She stood in the doorway, her chest tightening with anxiety and frustration. Maura, of course, wasn't there. She didn't know where Maura was. Why didn't she know where Maura was? Panic started to overwhelm Jane and she began to sink down before she felt two strong hands under her arms.

She was guided to a supply cupboard and pushed inside gently. The light was turned on and she felt Maura's hands on her face, brushing errant curls behind her ear.

"Breathe, Jane. Just breathe. I've got you. You're okay, everything's okay. Everything will be okay. Can you breathe with me?"

Jane shook her head and felt her face crumple. Maura pulled her close and took a deep breath, counting down from either slowly.

"Breathe with me, sweetheart. Can you breathe with me?" Maura repeated, being sure to press her chest against Jane's, setting a rhythm.

Soon, Jane's stuttering breath calmed and she felt the trembling in her fingertips subside.

"Sorry Maur'," she croaked, "don't know what came over me."

"You were most likely experiencing an anxiety attack due, I expect, to the stress you're under at the moment. Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah, thanks Maura. That wasn't nice." She buried her face into Maura's shoulder, relaxing at the feeling of her hair being brushed through with delicate fingers.

"I thought we'd come in her because it's away from people and I know you feel safe in enclosed spaces."

"I was gonna ask why you brought me to a cupboard." She pulled back and raised her eyebrows.

"Do you remember the time we made love in here? You got all those bruises on your back from the cleaning supplies."

"I wouldn't call what we did that day making love, Jane."

"What would you call it?"

"Are you trying to get me to say a curse word?"

"You know I am."

They pressed their foreheads together and Jane wrapped her arms around Maura, who lifted up slightly to rest her chin on Jane's shoulder.

"I should get back to work now," Jane whispered.

"Will you come and see Sara tonight? I'll see if Claire is free."

"Of course, I'll be there." She pecked Maura's nose with a quick kiss, and they both giggled.

"Thank you, Maura. I really appreciate what you just did for me. I appreciate everything you're doing for me. For us all."

Maura blushed and looked down at the floor, embarrassed, giving Jane's hand a squeeze.

Back at her desk, Jane felt the last drops of panic from earlier dissipate, and made a mental note to pick up flowers for Maura on her way to see Sara that evening. Straightening out her notebook, she noticed the corner of the page with notes on James Hardy was folded down, and she thought of the uneasy feeling he'd given her when she'd been asking him questions.

Her phone buzzed in its holster.

"Rizzoli."

Another body had been found in a backstreet just a few blocks away. The person who called it in, a waiter at the local Greek restaurant, said it must've been dumped in the last half an hour, because they'd taken their bins out not long before that.

Jane's heart sunk.

Samuel Hansen was not the killer.

xxx

I hope this slightly longer update makes up for the wait! Please let me know what you think, as always, I love reading every single one of your reviews.


	15. Chapter 14

Hello everyone! So sorry for the delay in this update. I've had a bit of an intense few weeks, but I'm feeling inspired now. Let's crack on, shall we?

xxx

"I've got a meeting with CPS today." Jane spoke into her mobile, held between her cheek and her shoulder, as she poured coffee hurriedly into a flask.

"Does that mean…"

"Yeah, I'd get to see Sara without Claire Sargeant aka mega bitch being there."

Maura chuckled, and Jane felt warmth pool in her stomach.

"She is a little overbearing, isn't she?"

"Will you be okay with it?"

Maura paused for a moment.

"Jane, I've wanted us to be a family again ever since this whole awful ordeal began."

Jane jumped up to sit on her kitchen counter, staying silent to allow Maura to continue.

"I never stopped loving you, Jane. I never blamed you for what happened that night, and I certainly never hated you. Things have been so difficult for so long, and there were days I woke up and I'd forgotten the reason you weren't lying next to me. Sometimes I'd think you were just downstairs getting coffee, or saying good morning to Sara. It broke my heart when I remembered."

"Maura… I don't know what to say."

"I don't want you to feel guilty, because none of this is your fault. It's just a terrible thing that's happened to us, that I hope we'll look back on in years to come and be thankful we got through it."

"I love you."

Maura's eyes closed as Jane said the words she'd longed to hear for so long.

"I love you, too. I can't wait for you to come home."

Jane felt tear spring to her eyes and she sniffed.

"Shall I come by later to surprise Sara?"

"She's not going to know what to do with herself, she'll be so excited."

"I can't wait."

Maura hit the end call button and held her phone to her chest. Suddenly, she realised, she had a lot to sort out before Jane came home. The dishwasher hadn't been emptied, the living room needed a good polish and vacuum, and she would have to put fresh sheets on the bed.

She wondered what it would be like to have Jane back in the house. Would it be as if nothing had happened? Maura thought not. But she knew that they'd both try as hard as they could to make things normal again, for Sara's sake. What was more, she'd get to share a bed with her wife again, and the thought brought a rosy blush to her cheeks.

xxx

Jane made her way into the meeting room, making sure her phone was switched to silent. She didn't want anything to hinder her chances at getting her family, and her old life, back.

A bearded, muscular man sat at the head of the long table in the centre of the room, with Claire Sargeant to his right. Jane guessed this was the judge who would decide whether she was fit to live with her wife and daughter. She flashed him a brilliant smile, and even managed to throw Claire a smile too.

"Detective Rizzoli, please, take a seat." The bearded man smiled back.

"My name is Jonathan, I've studied your case at length, and discussed it with Claire also." He stood up and took Jane's hand as she moved to sit down. His hands were warm, soft, comforting. Jane felt her stomach clench.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Jonathan. Good to see you, Claire."

"Now, Detective Rizzoli…"

"Please, call me Jane."

"Jane. Claire has reported that you had a little outburst at your last session with your daughter, Sara, is it?"

"Yeah, that's my daughter. I was under a great deal of pressure at work, I still am, I'm sure you've seen on TV the reports of children going missing recently. My job is, always has been, and always will be incredibly intense, but I would like to say that my family, Sara, and my wife Maura, they give me strength and solace, and I would not be able to get through it without them."

Claire scribbled on her notepad, and Jane craned her neck to try and peek at what she was writing. She continued.

"I know what happened was awful, and I'll never stop regretting it until the die I day, but I am a better person now. I've been to therapy once a week for the past two years, I don't get flashbacks and I don't sleepwalk anymore. I'm doing great at work, in the grand scheme of things. I need my family, Jonathan, and they need me. We're a trio. We just don't work if we're apart."

Jonathan linked his fingers under his chin and nodded slowly. Jane picked at the fingernail on her left thumb, anxiety bubbling in her chest.

"Jane, it's clear to me that you have worked hard at turning your life around. I'm delighted to say you will no longer require a chaperone when you see your daughter."

Jane stopped breathing. She'd fully prepared herself for a rejection, for Claire to say that her 'outburst' at her most recent visit with Sara was an indication she hadn't rehabilitated herself at all. She felt a tear slide down her cheek and quickly wiped it away. Her voice was croaky as she spoke.

"Thank you, so much, you have no idea how much this means to me."

"Congratulations, Detective Rizzoli." Claire smiled and held out her hand. Jane launched herself across the table and drew her into a tight hug.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you. I don't know what else to say." She released Claire, who looked slightly aghast, and straightened out her blazer.

"I won't let you down!" She shouted as she left the room, fumbling with her phone to ring Maura.

When she unlocked it, her stomach flipped at the sight of '13 missed calls' on the screen. All from Maura. Her heart began to race and she ran her fingers through her hair.

"Maura, hey, what's going on?"

"Sara's gone, Jane, she's been taken." Maura was shrieking and Jane could hear the tears in her voice.

She felt her vision blur and her body turn to ice. A wave of nausea overtook her and she struggled to breathe.

"W-what? When?"

"She was playing in the front yard and I was out there with her, but I had to check on the dinner and I was gone _five minutes, Jane_ , no longer than that, and when I got back she was gone. Oh God." Maura was becoming hysterical, and it made Jane's heart hurt.

"I'm on my way, it's gonna be okay Maur'."

Jane felt a horrible sense of déjà vu. Not a month ago, she'd received a frantic call from Maura concerning their daughter. At least then, they knew where she was. They knew nothing of what had happened to her now, and all Jane could think of were the tiny bodies that had been left to rot around Boston in the last few weeks.

As she raced over to her home, sirens blaring, she prayed to God that they would all get to be a family again.

xxx

It's short and not very sweet, so I apologise for that, but please bear with me and I'll have another update to you soon enough. Thank you for all your continued support!


	16. Chapter 15

Hello everyone! I'm very sorry about the wait, I've just finished my job, and have a little down time before I start my new one, so hopefully I'll have more time for writing! We're almost there with this story. I recently went to Boston, which was insanely beautiful, and kept an eye out for our ladies… Hope you enjoy this chapter. Thank you for your continued support.

xxx

The note was found in a hedge in the front yard. Only three words long, it had caused Maura to vomit, only just making it to the bathroom in time before she spilled the contents of her stomach into the bowl. Jane was shell-shocked. She had known, in her gut, what had happened to Sara, but to have confirmation of it was unbearable.

 _I have her_

At first, the change in MO threw Jane off slightly but, she realised with a shudder, it meant that this person knew her personally. She had met the person who had taken her daughter. Her first hunch was Samuel Hansen, who could've taken Sara as revenge for the way Jane had treated him in the interrogation. The thought she may have had something to do with the predicament they were currently in made her feel sick, but Hansen was cleared quickly when both his boss and CCTV at his place of work proved he'd been stacking shelves at the time Sara had gone missing.

Sara had now been missing for just over 36 hours, and with each passing moment Jane's stomach clenched tighter, her heart aching.

Jane hadn't seen Maura for almost two days, and her whole body yearned to hold her. She wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around her wife and her daughter, but couldn't dwell too much on the thought because it made her want to break down.

They had every available uniform patrolling the streets, following leads. Of course, they believed every child's life was important, but when a cop's kid was in trouble, there were no holds barred.

Jane herself hadn't slept since the phone call from Maura. She was running on coffee and adrenaline and had eaten just a couple of cereal bars in almost 48 hours. Angela was on hand doing what she did best, providing comfort and sustenance.

Maura had been poring over the autopsy reports, frantically searching for any detail she may have missed that could hold the key to discovering who the killer was.

The killer.

The thought that a killer had her daughter made it hard to breathe. But Maura knew that hyperventilating would do nothing to save Sara, so she ploughed on, late into the night. She had gone to Jane's desk that morning to see if she was there, but had been told by a young man in uniform that she'd been gone the whole night, driving every road and side street in the search for their daughter. He had looked at Maura with sympathy, and had asked her if he could get her anything, which only made her want to cry again.

Reading the reports over and over was bad enough. She pulled out her phone from her bag and dialled without needing to think of the numbers.

"Hey Maur', you got something?" Maura could hear that Jane was driving,

"Jane, these children, they suffered horrific abuse before they died. Please, God, you have to find her."

"I know Maur', I know, I'm doing everything I can."

"I know you are, I don't want to make you feel like you're not putting enough effort into finding her. I just…"

"It'll be enough, it has to…" She trailed off, a connection forming in her brain that suddenly made everything so much clearer.

"I've gotta go, I love you, I will find her." She pressed the screen of her phone to end the call and spun her car round in the middle of the road, eliciting a slew of horns from other drivers, before heading back to BPD.

When she got back to the station, she raced up the steps and went straight to police records, slamming the door open so hard it crashed into the wall.

"Shit, sorry Harry." She offered a strained smile to the grey-haired man sitting behind the desk before her, before closing the door rather more carefully than the way she'd entered.

"It's no bother, Detective Rizzoli. I'm so sorry to hear what's happened. I hope Doctor Isles is holding up okay?"

"I think I may have something. It's not much, but it could mean finding out who this bastard is."

"What can I do?"

"Can you pull all the cases that include sexual abuse and torture against a child from the last twenty years? Look for mentions of the removal of fingernails if you can."

"Gimme a sec." Harry eased himself up out of his chair, groaning as his old joints loosened up. Jane leant against the desk, her heart drumming against her chest and her vision blurry. She needed another coffee.

In less than five minutes, Harry returned and handed a short stack of files to Jane.

"Should all be in there, Detective. Please, let me know if there's anything else I can do. I hope you find Sara soon."

Jane felt tears sting her eyes, and nodded her thanks to Harry as she closed the door behind her.

Running up the stairs to the bullpen two at a time, she rushed to get back to her desk, to start looking through the files. There were 7 to get through, and she prayed that she wouldn't miss any important details in her sleep-and-food-deprived state.

The fourth file in held the answers.

A young boy of eleven had been taken into care after he'd killed his father in self-defence by hitting him in the head with an iron. The father had been raping him from the age of three, and torturing him in ways that turned Jane's stomach. She noted his fingernails had been removed.

His mother was deemed unfit to look after him, and it seemed they'd never seen each other again.

She checked the boy's name; Jared Prattle. She had no recollection of anyone by that name and slammed her fists onto her desk. The father's name was William Prattle. She hadn't heard of him either.

"Fuck…" she muttered. Another dead end.

Then she checked the date. Fifteen years ago, almost to the day. That would make the little boy around twenty-six now.

She checked the boy's address. Tears filled her eyes as she drew her notebook from her jacket pocket, flipping as quickly as she could to the right page.

249 Baker Street.

It was there, in front of her.

Edwina Prattle did indeed live at that address, but so had her son, Jared Prattle. Now known as James Hardy. The very same young man who had lied to her face when she had interviewed him at the park.

Jane grabbed her gun from her desk drawer and fired over a text to Korsak and Frankie. She was going to get her daughter back.

xxx

Please do let me know what you think! Thanks all.


	17. Chapter 16

We're almost there. Who's ready for a showdown?

xxx

It didn't take Jane long to reach her destination. She knew, rationally, she should've waited for backup, but she had no idea how much time Sara had left before that monster hurt her, or worse.

She could only pray that she wasn't too late.

She parked her car outside 249 Baker Street and double checked her gun, that it was ready for what was about to happen. She didn't think that _she_ was ready for what was about to happen, but she was running out of time.

She moved swiftly to the front door, knocking first, rather than kicking it in, so as not to alarm Hardy. No answer. She knocked again, harder this time. She heard a faint rustling behind the door, as if someone was moving very slowly, cautiously. She knocked again.

She leaned in closer to the door, ears straining to pick up any movement inside the house. When a few seconds passed and she couldn't hear anything, she called out.

"Mr. Hardy, it's Detective Rizzoli from BPD. I just have a few more questions I'd like to ask you."

Her attempt to keep her voice strong and clear was unsuccessful.

"Where's your partner, Detective? Don't you people usually travel in pairs?" He snorted out a laugh.

As well as being an evil asshole, it was clear now that James Hardy was watching Jane from the peephole in his door.

"He's on another case."

A pause. Then, the scraping of a chain being unlocked, before the front door creaked open slowly.

Hardy stood in the doorway, the darkness of the house behind him engulfing his figure.

"What can I help you with, Detective?"

Jane noted the dark circles under his eyes.

"Can I come in, Mr. Hardy? I just have a few more things I'd like to discuss with you."

"Now isn't really a good time. My mother is still recovering from her operation, and she needs her rest."

"I promise it'll only take a few minutes." She clenched her jaw, fighting the urge to grab her gun and scream at him to take her to Sara. She knew she had to remain calm, but it was proving a lot more difficult than she had anticipated.

He stared at her for a moment, his face peering out from the narrow gap between the door and the frame. She tried to read his eyes, her stomach clenching. He nodded curtly and stooped slightly as he opened the door fully.

He gestured for her to take a seat in the lounge to the left of the front door. Two threadbare sofas sat at angles, and a television that looked like it was new in the 1950s resided in the corner. The curtains were drawn and there was an acrid, slightly sweet smell.

She recognised it as the smell of decomposition. Maybe not as quickly as Maura might have, but she'd been to enough crime scenes to know when someone had died close by. Her stomach lurched at the thought of _who_ might be the cause of the smell. Her eyes prickled with tears as she longed to feel Sara in her arms again.

"You said you had some questions for me?" Hardy shifted his feet and picked at a loose bit of skin next to his thumbnail. Inside the house, he looked paler as the seconds went by.

"I just wanted to check something about your mother's surgery. Which hospital was she admitted to?"

He offered a blank stare, a slight grimace pulling at the corners of his mouth. He continued picking at his nails.

"It was Mass Gen. I thought I'd mentioned that in my original statement."

Jane could see that his top lip was trembling, the spattering of wispy facial hair glistening with sweat.

"You didn't mention it, no. I just wanted to make sure. I think that's probably all I need for now." She moved to the door, then stopped.

"Could I please use your bathroom? I have a long drive to my next stop." She smiled, though her gaze was piercing.

He thought for a moment, considering. Jane was beginning to feel impatient.

"It's the third door on the right, down the corridor."

She nodded, then turned the corner as her ears strained for any signs that may lead her to Sara. She pulled her gun from its holster and kept it by her side. She walked carefully, yet swiftly. The corridor was almost completely dark, and the navy colour of the walls didn't help. She squinted as her eyes adjusted.

She looked into the first two rooms, one of which was the bathroom. The hairs on the back of her neck prickled and she knew whatever was behind the third door on the right wasn't going to be good. Raising her gun, she twisted the handle slowly, flinching at the creaking it elicited.

As the door swung open, she felt her mouth flood with saliva and bile rise in her throat. The corpse of an elderly woman, Hardy's mother she presumed, was laid out on a double bed, on top of the covers. She was no expert, but she guessed it had been there for a few weeks. There were maggots everywhere, and the smell infiltrated her nose and mouth before she had a chance to step back.

"I really wish you hadn't lied to me about why you were here, Detective Rizzoli." She turned, just as the baseball bat swung through the air and smashed into the back of her head. Then, everything was dark.

xxx

"Ma? Maaaa, come on Ma, wake up please. Please Ma, wake up."

It was a dream. It had to be. She was at home, the home she shared with Maura and Sara and Jo Friday and Bass, and it was a weekend, and Sara had snuck from her room into theirs and clambered onto their bed and snuggled in close to wake them up.

She could almost feel Maura's arms around her as her eyes fluttered open, a searing pain shooting from the back of her head to her temples. She groaned, thankful the room she was in was dimly lit.

She tried to bring her hand up to rub her sore head but found that she had been bound and tied to a radiator, her arms pulled tight behind her back.

"Ma?"

Jane whipped round to her right, wincing as another lightning bolt of agony ran through her head. She looked to the corner of the room, squinting to make out who she hoped was sitting there. She breathed out a huge sigh of relief.

"Sara, oh my God, it's okay sweetheart. Mama's here. Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

"My head hurts and I scraped my knee but I'm okay. You have blood on your head mama."

Jane nodded.

"It's okay baby, I'm okay. We're gonna get out of here, do you hear me? We're gonna go back to mommy and nothing's ever going to tear us apart again."

She strained against the thick ropes binding her hands, wiggling her fingers and thumbs in an attempt to loosen them. She gritted her teeth as she felt the ties cut into her skin, the wetness of blood trickling down to her fingertips and onto the dusty floor.

"I'm sorry, Jane, but I can't allow you to leave. Surely you understand that?"

Hardy was sitting on an old, rickety chair in the middle of the room, under the only light source. It gave his face an eerie glow and Jane shuddered, scooting as close to Sara as she could.

"Hardy you bastard, let my daughter go."

"Did you not hear what I said, or are you just ignorant?"

"Please, I am begging you. You can do whatever you like to me, but please just let her go. Let her go." She bowed her head as she started sobbing, terror sliding its icy fingers around her throat as she feared for her daughter's life.

"Oh Detective. I thought you were supposed to be brave."

"My ma's the bravest detective in the world, my mommy said so." Sara piped up from the corner and Jane felt her mouth break into a smile despite their situation.

Hardy jumped up from his chair and ran over to Sara, who screamed and scurried further into the corner as he stopped a foot in front of her, waving his arms and laughing at her fear.

"Stay the _fuck_ away from her. Don't you touch her." Jane bellowed, struggling against her restraints.

"My my, aren't you protective? Do you consider yourself a good mother, Detective?" He paced in front of her.

Jane raised her chin just slightly, hoping her posture conveyed more confidence than she felt.

"I love my daughter more than anything else in this world. I would do anything for her."

Hardy looked thoughtful for a moment before he continued.

"My mother and father were evil. They enjoyed hurting me and my brothers and sisters. They loved to inflict pain on us. I was their favourite punching bag. I don't think there was a day from the time I could walk that I wasn't hit or slapped or kicked or whipped. It was never bad enough to kill me, though I wished it was. Do you know what it's like, to be six years old and wishing for death?"

He sneered.

"Of course, you don't. Jane Rizzoli, Homicide Detective with the BPD and all round superhero. You have had everything handed to you on a plate. Just as those stuck up, prissy little shits that I _got_ had it handed to them."

He swept his hair out of his face, raking his fingers through it violently as Jane struggled to keep her eyes open. The pain in the back of her head was making her feel nauseous.

"And when I met you, I could tell you wanted to do the right thing, to help those poor little children I'd taken care of. I admired that. But I really, really don't want to live the rest of my life in prison. So I'm afraid, for you, this is the end of the line."

He pulled Jane's service weapon from the waistband of his jeans and she gasped, shaking her head.

"Please, Hardy, we can offer you a deal, please think about what you're doing. Killing a police officer will be the final nail in your coffin. Right now, we can work something out." She struggled to remain calm as Sara began sobbing, and she wished so much she could scoop her into her arms and take them both out of there.

"Oh Jane, I know there's not going to be any deal. I'm a killer of children. One day in any prison and they'll do unspeakable things to me. You know they will."

He smiled, shrugged his shoulders, and fired a bullet at Jane, smirking when it hit its intended target, the force sending her arms flailing and snapping the rope in the process.

After that, everything seemed to happen very quickly.

Jane could hear Korsak's voice screaming from the front door, but the pain in her shoulder where the bullet had lodged itself was preventing her from doing much more than stay awake.

Hardy looked at her, panic marring his eyes, before he raised his arm again.

Seemingly in slow motion, Sara screamed and the door burst open, Korsak and Frankie firing their weapons as soon as they saw what was happening.

They pumped seven bullets into Hardy, but not before he fired one last time, the bullet hitting Jane in the right side of her chest. She flew backwards and hit the wall behind her, feeling all the air rush from her lungs as she landed hard on the ground.

"Janie, no!" Frankie roared, leaving Korsak to check Hardy was dead as he ran to his sister's side.

Jane lay on the floor, grimacing as pain shot through her entire body. Tears leaked from her eyes and slid down her cheeks. She tried to lift her arm up to stem the flow of blood from her chest, but Frankie pushed her down gently, ripping his jacket off and pressing it to her chest.

"Stay with me, Janie. You're okay. I've got you. Keep your godamn eyes open Jane, please." He was sobbing, screaming at Korsak to call an ambulance.

Korsak looked on, terrified, as he took out his radio.

"We need an EMT here _now,_ we have an officer down. I repeat, we have an officer down." Tears streamed down his face as he rushed over to Sara, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close.

"You're okay Sara, let's take you to your mommy okay?"

"Maura?" Jane whispered as she started to shake, her vision blurring and breaths shortening.

She could just about see Maura rushing through the door from behind Frankie, and managed a smile when she ran straight to Sara.

"Oh my God, my darling, you're okay, mommy's here." Sara clung to her, wrapping her arms and legs around Maura's torso as she cried. Maura placed a tender kiss to her head and held her tight.

She looked up and her eyes met Jane's and she felt her heart drop.

"Oh God. Jane." She gently placed Sara back in Korsak's arms and sprinted across the room, dropping to her knees as Frankie continued to apply pressure to Jane's bullet wounds.

"Jane? Oh my God, Jane, you're going to be alright. Keep looking at me sweetheart." She lifted Frankie's jacket briefly, to gauge the damage, and her mouth dropped open when she saw blood oozing from Jane's chest, her shirt soaked through.

"Maura, I love you. I love you, Maur'…" She trailed off, her eyelids drooping.

"Jane? Stay with me Jane, please, I love you so much. We need you. I love you, please don't die. Please don't leave me." She bowed her head, pressing her lips to Jane's gently, caressing the back of Jane's head.

"Tell Sara I love her, I love her and I love you. And tell Ma…"

"You can tell them yourself Jane Rizzoli. You're not going anywhere." Maura clutched at Jane's face, stroking errant hairs from her forehead as tears dripped down her nose.

Jane's eyes began to close as two EMTs burst through the door, and Frankie dragged Maura away so they could start working.

"No, Jane, oh God, no, please." Maura shrieked as Jane started convulsing, the first EMT pressing her fingers to Jane's neck in search of a pulse.

Sara was screaming.

"Get her out of here, Korsak." Frankie howled as he fought to control his tears, his arm wrapped tight around Maura's shoulders as she clutched at him.

The EMTs took out their defibrillator and ripped Jane's shirt open in preparation.

Maura stood in shock as she watched the love of her life take her last breath.

xxx

The end.

Just kidding! There will be one more chapter in this story, which I will share with you very soon. Until then, thank you so much for all your reviews, patience with my slow updating, and general support. It's all meant the world to me. I do so hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	18. Chapter 17

Well, here we are folks. This is the end. Thank you so much for everything. Apologies for the sometimes very long delays between updates, but we got there!

I have a couple more ideas that I want to work on, but for now, I hope this chapter serves as a fitting end to what has been a joy to write and share with you.

Also, things are about to get a little steamy, so buckle up and brace yourselves.

xxx

Maura stood in front of the full-length mirror, assessing her outfit and brushing a small piece of lint from her tight-fitting dress. She so wished Jane was with her, telling her to stop deliberating because she 'looks hot in everything she wears'.

It had been three months since Jane had been grievously injured whilst saving Sara. Three long, hard months where so much had been uncertain.

Explaining to Sara what had happened to her mama was the hardest thing. She understood, of course, how dangerous guns could be. Having a detective and a medical examiner for parents ensured she had been told from the time she could understand speech that she was never to touch a gun, and if she saw one she was to tell an adult immediately.

But knowing the damage a gun can inflict and seeing your mother gunned down by a madman are two completely different things. On top of that, she had endured significant emotional trauma from being held captive by Hardy, and Maura had insisted that she attend therapy sessions as soon as possible.

There were just some things that, as a mother, you couldn't possibly be prepared or equipped for.

As she applied the finishing touches to her makeup, she attempted to muster a smile. She knew that wishing and hoping rarely if ever had a definitive effect on an outcome, but she reasoned it couldn't hurt to remain positive. She just wanted everything to be as it was before the whole mess started.

A knock at the door shook her from her thoughts and, with one last look in the mirror, she walked briskly down the stairs to answer it.

"Hello mommy, we got ice cream!" Maura raised her eyebrows as she pulled Sara into a tight hug. Ever since they'd almost lost her, hugs lasted a little longer, and bedtime was a little later.

"Umm, yes, that was supposed to be our little secret Sara." Jane ran her fingers through her hair sheepishly, a wide grin adorning her face. She looked at Maura.

"I just figured, it's not the nicest thing for a seven-year-old to be doing on a Saturday, so I thought it'd be a treat."

Maura swallowed the lump in her throat and took a deep breath.

"It was a lovely idea, Jane. Thank you for taking her to therapy. I know she's far more open and deals with it so much better when you're there with her."

"Of course. Any time. You look, wow, you look beautiful by the way." Maura felt the flush in her cheeks and bowed her head. Jane reached out her hand and cupped Maura's chin, nudging it up gently. They smiled at each other.

"Are you ready to go? I know our reservation's not for another hour but I thought we could take a walk by the river before?"

"I'll just get my purse and make sure Sara's settled with Angela. Did you want to come in?"

"Sure." The awkwardness was melting away slowly but surely, and Jane felt weight lift from her shoulders.

"Help yourself to a beer, you know where they are. I'll only be a minute."

Jane thanked her and headed for the fridge, unashamedly checking Maura out as she followed Sara to the guest house.

Twenty minutes later, as they strolled hand in hand by the Charles, they had fallen into silence.

"Maur'…"

"Jane…"

They began at the same time, and chuckled. Jane was the first to speak.

"You go first."

"I feel a little silly."

"Don't ever feel like you can't talk to me about something, Maur'. I know something's bothering you, it has been for a while. I want to make you feel better."

Maura stopped them at a bench and they sat, legs touching, Jane's hand between Maura's in her lap.

"We almost lost you. We were so close to losing you and I don't think I could live without you, Jane. I mean, I know physically your absence wouldn't result in my death, but I don't ever want to be without you."

Jane pulled her in close, Maura's head resting on her shoulder. They fit together so perfectly. Jane sighed.

"I don't doubt that us taking this new stage of our relationship slow was the best course of action, but every time we say goodbye I wonder if it's the last time I'm going to see you. What if someone takes you, or you're hit by a drunk driver, or you fall down the stairs, or there's a fire or…"

"Hey, hey. That's not going to happen. I'm not going anywhere."

"But how can you _know_ that for certain?"

"I… I don't, Maura. No one does. I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you. That situation, the situation that I put myself in, you had no control over it. And there are so many situations in life that we can't control. We just have to learn to accept that." She turned to press a firm but tender kiss against Maura's temple.

"And also I promise to always wait for back up in the future."

Maura chuckled and wrapped her arms around Jane's waist.

"Do you think, maybe, you should go and see someone? A professional, I mean."

"Jane Rizzoli, how the tables have turned. I'm usually the one giving you advice."

Maura looked up into Jane's eyes, before her gaze dropped to her lips.

"Technically dying twice changes a person, Maur', what can I say?"

She kissed Maura slowly, passionately, until she felt the tension in her muscles subside.

"Come on," she whispered. "Let's go have a bottle of wine and forget about our problems."

Maura managed to get the key in the lock of her front door on the fourth attempt. It didn't particularly help that Jane was standing achingly close to her, meaning her thoughts were decidedly elsewhere. Though, she reasoned, the red wine in her system probably didn't help either.

Jane giggled as Maura stumbled over the threshold, her heel getting caught in the door frame.

"Jane, I don't see what's so funny, I could've seriously injured myself had I fallen over." She tried to be angry, but her expression was stern for a split second before she burst into a fit of laughter. Such was the joy on her face, Jane stopped breathing for a moment, overwhelmed by Maura's beauty.

As her laughter died away, Maura noticed Jane gazing at her intently, and her smile disappeared. She felt her breath quicken and her heart pounding.

"Jane, I…" She didn't have a chance to finish her next thought let alone the rest of the sentence before Jane's lips were on hers in a crushing kiss that sent her reeling. She clawed at Jane's back, ripping her jacket from her and throwing it somewhere across the room.

Jane's hands were everywhere, palming her breasts, grabbing her hips to pull her in closer. They were pressed flush against each other, but still, they weren't close enough. Maura pushed Jane until her back hit the kitchen wall, never breaking their bruising kiss. Jane grunted as the back of her head rebounded off the wall, but it didn't deter her from unzipping Maura's dress and allowing it to pool on the floor.

She pulled back for just a moment to admire the figure before her. Seeing Maura in any state of undress had always rendered her speechless but, she realised with a start, it had been almost three years since she had been lucky enough to witness this particular sight.

She leaned down to press a tender kiss to Maura's silk-clad breast, wrapping her arms round her back and nipping gently at the soft, supple skin. Maura's hands came up to cradle Jane's head as her own tipped backward at the sensation of Jane's ministrations.

"Oh God, Jane…"

Jane hummed against her breast until she felt herself being pushed down. She knelt before Maura, who was still wearing her heels, something that Jane was very much appreciating. She rested her cheek against Maura's stomach and ran her hands up and down the backs of her legs and the curve of her ass. Maura had to steady herself on Jane's shoulders.

Jane turned her head and pressed a gentle kiss to the front of Maura's panties, smiling when her hips bucked as a result. Another kiss, this one firmer, brought Maura to her knees. Face to face again, they looked into each other's eyes. Maura brushed stray curls from Jane's forehead, stroking her fingertips down her cheek. Jane's eyes closed slowly and she sighed. Maura pushed her back gently until she laid flat, and straddled her hips. She rested her hands against Jane's shoulders, being careful not to put too much pressure on the still-healing scar on the side of her chest.

She moved her hips slowly, grinning at the low groan it elicited from the woman beneath her.

"Jeez, Maura. I've missed this so much. I've missed you." Jane's voice cracked as she sat up and pulled Maura in close, legs still wrapped around a slim waist. She buried her face into the smooth skin of her neck, taking in that unique scent, and felt tears slide down her cheeks.

At the feeling of wetness on her own skin, Maura pulled back, cupping Jane's face between her hands.

"What is it, love? If you're not ready, I completely understand, I…"

"I want nothing more than to do this, Maura. I've wanted it forever. I just... I never thought we'd get to do this again, not after I messed everything up. And then everything with Sara, and Hardy, and the slightly intense fact that I almost died…" She trailed off, pausing to brush tears from her face.

"When I was lying there, and I could feel the blood pumping out of my chest, before you got there I was terrified that I was gonna die alone. I know Frankie and Korsak were there, but I hated the fact that I was going to die without seeing your face one last time."

Maura's mouth hung open as she attempted to process what Jane was saying.

"I know it's stupid, but being that close to death makes you think of all the things you've done wrong in your life. Letting our marriage break down is my biggest regret. I don't know if I can ever forgive myself for that, but I know I am going to do everything in my power to make sure it never happens again. I want to make you happy every day for the rest of our lives, Maura. I don't want anything else."

Maura wiped a stray tear from her face and pulled Jane in for a tender kiss.

"Take me to bed, Jane." She husked.

She stood up and gently pulled Jane with her, holding her hands tightly and rubbing them with her thumbs. Jane bent down and kissed her hard, slipping her tongue into Maura's mouth as her fingertips brushed down a tear-stained cheek.

They stumbled to the bedroom, _their_ bedroom, and landed on the bed in a heap. Jane worked her way from Maura's mouth, down her chest, to her stomach. She settled between her legs and slid Maura's lace panties down.

As she was about to taste Maura, she felt a gentle tug on her hair. Looking up, she saw Maura beckoning her with a slender finger.

"I need you up here, with me, looking into my eyes." She whispered as Jane laid herself down gently on Maura's chest.

"I also need you to take off your clothes, I want to feel you."

Jane groaned and sat up slightly to pull her shirt over her head. Maura let out a gasp before she could help herself. The round scar just above her right breast served as the centre point for the longer, surgical scar that ran from the side of her chest all the way to her breastbone. Though it had had time to heal, it was still a little pink, and Maura sighed sadly.

"Does it hurt?"

"Not when you touch me."

"Jane, I…"

"Maura, please don't. I know it's ugly and I know it's awful, I just want to forget about it."

Maura sat up and held Jane's hands in her own.

"Oh Jane. You are the most gorgeous person I have ever seen. I'm crazy about you. I've always been crazy about you. You make me feel joy just by smiling at me, and you make me so, so unbelievably wet with one single touch."

"Jeez, Maur', do you know what you're doing to me right now?" Jane chuckled.

"I do, because it's what you do to me every time I'm with you. Your scar isn't ugly. It is awful, but only because it reminds me you nearly died. But you didn't die. That scar is a reminder that you saved our daughter. You stopped a child killer from hurting anyone else, from taking anyone else's baby from them. You allowed me to bring Sara home, and you fought to stay with us." Her voice cracked.

"You're here with us because you are the strongest, bravest person I have ever had the pleasure to know. And I will love you for the rest of my life. You are so, so beautiful."

She leant forward and pressed the slightest of touches to Jane's scar with her lips. Jane's eyes closed in ecstasy and she pushed Maura back gently.

"I love you so much, my Maura. So much." She trailed her fingertips down Maura's taut stomach, smiling at the sharp intake of breath she heard. When her fingers found wetness, she groaned. Two fingers slipped inside easily, and Maura instantly wrapped her legs round Jane's waist. Her own fingers worked their way to apex of Jane's thighs and they soon worked up a rhythm, gasping and moaning and sighing together.

"Maura, I…" Jane started to speak but, looking into Maura's eyes, it was all too overwhelming.

"I know, love. I know." Maura smiled and moved her fingers faster, revelling in the sight of Jane tossing her head back and her breasts jumping in time with their thrusting.

They moved together until Jane cried out Maura's name suddenly, squeezing her legs to trap the fingers still working feverishly inside her.

Maura followed shortly after, letting out a sigh and a low groan as she contracted and every muscle in her body strained to make the feeling last as long as possible.

Jane slumped on top of her and she ran her fingers lazily down her back.

"How did we go that long without sex?" Jane spoke into Maura's neck before too long, and Maura laughed out loud.

"Well we weren't in the best of places, sweetheart, emotionally speaking."

"We didn't even have hate sex. Man, I've missed this." She looked up into Maura's eyes and pressed a kiss to plump lips.

"Jane?"

"Yes, beautiful lady?"

"Does this mean we have to make up for lost time?" Maura raised an eyebrow and began kissing down Jane's neck, sucking gently and soothing with her tongue.

"You are absolutely right. God, you're perfect."

Maura hummed in appreciation and continued her ministrations.

After everything that had happened, she reasoned, there was no time to lose.


End file.
